The Memoir of a Boffin
by AnniaSwartz
Summary: Lily Evans, prefect, charms enthusiast and feminist is suddenly thrown in the deep end in seventh year. Work was her priority, right? Until she found, one, James Potter waiting on the other side of the head common room. From hatred to amore, here is the story of how two soulmates found each other. JILY Multi-chapter, Lily's POV, Emotional whirlwind, BEING WRITTEN
1. He called me a Boffin

_AN: Here we go! I really hope you enjoy this, it took me FOREVER as I had loads of writing blocks for no reason, school was busy and it's nearly Christmas so..._

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 **Acerrima proximorum odia** \- The hatred of those most nearly connected is the bitterest of all (Tacit)

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— _4th June, 1977_ –

It was my last half term in Sixth year. Exams had finished, so yes, this half term would probably be one of the most relaxed, however I was not looking forward to it.

The wait for results was agonising. We all were desperately hoping for the grades we needed to stay in our chosen classes. Sure, OWLs had granted us a years worth of lessons, but if our end of year results didn't keep up to scratch, we would most definitely be kicked out.

It was also the last half term before our last year. Our last year ever at Hogwarts, which had been my home for the past couple years, my place of safety. Once we leave, the realities of the outside world would come crashing down on us. A war was being fought. A war against evil wizards and witches who wanted people like me dead. Dumbledore provided a secure home, and soon I would have to leave.

Mother and father had been tearful as always. For them, not knowing quite what was going on was extremely frightening. As usual, we drove to the station and said our goodbyes on one side of the wall, before I would disappear through to the other side. We were early, and I was alone now.

So, when I arrived on the platform, I desperately looked for someone I knew, only to find that I only recognised two faces. Two _awfully_ arrogant faces.

Sirius Black and James Potter. Ew. Well, I don't _mind_ Black, but Potter? Ew. Just...ew.

So I guess I kinda turned in the other direction, sat myself down on an empty bench as far away from the two gits as humanely possible, and opened my book. Then time kind of lost itself.

Well, except from when two clumsy second years decided it would be a good idea to see if _my hair_ could set their fireworks off. Maybe _my hair_ does have sometime to do with all the completely _awkward and embarrassing_ moments in my life.

One moment I was just sitting there, innocent as a witch can be, the next moment I see a wand pointed just above my forehead, and a shout of "Periculum!"

Red sparks erupted just above my head, catching my hair that was pulled back into a tight bun. I jumped up from my seat just as two more sparks joined the others. I felt myself grow hot and bothered, again, and the two guilty second years stared up in awe at their truly and utterly _astonishing_ creation.

I know right, the sarcasm is _hair-charring._

No, really.

Fortunately _,_ Dory came and rescued me, running over from where she had just appeared. Somehow, she undid my birds-nest-hairstyle and tried charming the charred strands. My poor hair has never be the same. The second years ran off, cowardly _rats_ that they are, and Dorcas dragged me onto the train, trunks in hand, my book tucked under my arm, in search for an empty compartment.

But, as I said before, nothing really turns out how you want it to, which is why, as we entered the train, non other than The _two gits_ caught sight of us.

 _Perfect._

Dory! Evans!" Git number one called out to us, giving us what he must have thought was a heart-melting smile.

I just scowled, I really was not in the mood. I had just been told that my hair was fiery enough to _light_ fireworks for merlins sake, of _course_ I was not in the mood for Potter or Sirius. I turned away, signalling Dory to follow, and started down the train.

"Lily, Dory! Don't go! We only just arrived." Sirius chased after us as we walked away and Dory, the absolute _angel_ that she is, saved me from using my own, slightly-more-heated reply.

"Not now, Black." Dorcas said, turning her head slightly. As I carried on walking, left, right, left, right. Breathe.

Footsteps behind me. I nearly snorted at the coincidence.

"Let me get that for you, Evans. We all know _just_ how many books you like to bring" He insulted me via my love of books. Silly move, git number one, "- Merlin knows why- they're so heavy, I'm surprised your arm hasn't fallen off." He strode right up to me, bent to take my trunk, just as I stopped, face furious, and turned to look at him.

And I don't kid you, when I say that he just stood there with his stupid grin plastered on his stupid face, grinning down at me like he knew exactly what was going on.

Like he knew just how much he had just offended me, in how many different ways he had just angered me. Really, it was 1977 and a witch couldn't carry her own trunk _ten steps_ to the next empty carriage? Really? Just because I was female, just because I had a vagina and boobs, it meant that suddenly, so very suddenly, I was not able to carry my own trunk? That made me mad, oh, so very mad. How dare he? How fucking dare he offer to carry _my_ trunk even though I am clearly more than capable to do so? Just because 'oh, he is male, he is so obviously stronger than her'. Where is the logic? And really, I expected so much more from him and Sirius! Especially Sirius! The co-leader to my campaign! The recruiter of our growing 'Witch Which' club and support group. He practically helped me run the thing and yet he was simply letting this utter sexism happen right in front of his very eyes? Betrayal, that's what I call it.

And then Potter, who certainly isn't the only guy who has done this, but is also certainly the one who happens to be smirking so arrogantly in front of me, tried to gently push me forward.

And that just about did it. My breathing uneven, my voice rose and I crossed my arms over my chest, and glared at him.

"Potter. If you DARE, if you even TRY taking this from me, it will be _your_ arm that will fall off."

It was a threat, or it was meant to be. But apparently being a git really effects your general knowledge, because he replied, all proud and arrogant:

"Oh don't _burst,_ Evans _._ Just offering-" I didn't care what he was offering, and I grabbed my book and swung as hard as I could at his smirking face.

"FOR MERLINS SAKE, POTTER! CAN'T YOU _SEE_ I'M IN NO STATE TO DEAL WITH _YOU_ RIGHT NOW!"

And with that, I stormed away, Dory in tow, to find an empty compartment.

Ha.

It was a hellish day to say the least.

— _Prefects meeting 1.0_ —

I went off to my prefects meeting alone. The end classroom was filled with general chatter, but I was still fuming. My face was still burning and I was running through the chain of events in my head.

Bloody Potter and his inflated ego. Thinking he could get the better of me! Ugh, how much I hated the kid. He thought everyone adored him just because he was captain of the Gryffindor Quiditch team. Just because of some bloody lucky genes and a cheeky smile. Just because he had more balls then anyone else and just because he had girls queuing to date him didn't mean I did. Ew, never ever would I want to have any sort of relationship with him. Girls literally dribbled at his feet, and rumours of his exquisite snogging skills were known by everyone, probably even poor McGonagall. I find it hard to believe he is a solid 10/10, no matter how hard Dory tries to convince me. I have had my fair share of snogging, and I tell you now, not one of those guys was near a-

 _Thwamp_.

Whoops. I had been a little bit busy contemplating Potters snogging ability, I hadn't quite noticed the poor bloke I had just rammed into. I had crashed into him completely, toppling us both over. How embarrassing.

The crash had drawn quite a lot of attention, and I quickly got up and dusted myself down, marvelling at my clumsiness.

"You alright?" A deep voice asked, and my eyes focused on the boy who had been caught up in the fall.

"Oh my, I'm so sorry about that, honestly I wasn't looking where I was going, it has been such a long day already." I sighed. Really, the day couldn't have got any worse and I was already thinking about skipping dinner and calling it a day. Honestly, you can only go through so much before giving up. Clearly, today was just not my day. "Somehow my hair was set alight and then Potter came along and simply looking at him gets my stomach churning and then he offered to carry my trunk because for some stupid reason that _prick_ thinks I'm not strong enough to carry it and then I was in a deep thought about how much I hated him and his snogg-" I spoke so quickly and so full of anger, the words sort of just tumbled out of my mouth without any sort of thought. My face was on fire.

The boy laughed and shook his head. "Really, it's fine. Lily, right?"

I nodded silently, not quite trusting my mouth anymore.

"I'm Liam. Liam Mildmoon," he smiled, and I took the chance to actually look at him.

Liam Mildmoon was a rather tall bloke. He was slightly lanky, but I'm sure I have seen him on the Quiditch pitch before. He was a hufflepuff, and his yellow and black striped tie clashed cutely with his blonde hair, quiffed at the front and short at the sides. He had a long face, but a toothy grin and large black eyes.

"Well it was very nice to meet you, Liam. And again, I really am sorry about my stupid day dreaming-" he cut me off, sighing to himself and resting a hand on my shoulder.

"No harm done, and it does sound like your day already has been quite a handful. Now, tell me how your hair was set alight." And he laughed at my embarrassment as I began to tell the tale for what felt like the 100th time.

I had just finished when he started cackling. Really, it wasn't _that_ funny! I was completely embarrassed by the whole matter, especially as my hair still smelt funny. Apparently char doesn't wash well.

The heads called for silence, and began dishing out the usual orders.

"Welcome back. We hope you all had a lovely break, especially those of us who have now finished exams," The head boy paused for a couple cheers to pass, "and now, we can relax a bit more and hopefully this last half-term will be less stressful." I certainly hoped so too. Dealing with rounds, mentoring and revision left me with barely any time to myself, or any lie-ins. I was rather moody for most of April.

"This last half-term will be full, as usual. We have Merlin remembrance day coming up soon," he paused again for a couple groans, "and yes, as usual, we will need volunteers to do rounds in Hogsmeade on any other occasions like that."

That was the definite downside to being a prefect. Rounds on a weekend or Hogsmeade trip. Thankfully, though, only the head boy and girl would do halloween and on other dates through the year, certain people would be assigned. Luckily, I did valentines day, so I should be able to get out of this next one...

And Valentines day is a big one, because most people are too loved up to care about whether they are truly hidden or not. Which meant interrupting many snog-a-thons and shagging sessions. Definitely and eventful night, as you can imagine if you saw some of _your_ class mates sticking their tongues down another's throat.

"The main thing during these last few weeks is restlessness. As you all know, we can all get a little bit... _ahem_...rowdy during the last couple weeks, and it's up to you lot to help the staff and us keep order." The head girl stated, looking around at all of us earnestly. "But most of all, as you know, it's our last couple weeks as heads and members of this school, so we really wanted to show our thanks by throwing a little party for you all..." Ooooh's and ahhh's crept round the room as we looked at each other in delight. "But more on that as we draw closer to the end of the year."

"For now, we wanted to discuss some little tips to help the newer prefects with these last few weeks, which will definitely be... _eventful_..."

The rest of the meeting went on. We had to put our name down for rounds, and although I did try desperately to pair with Liam, it seems I ended up with Remus Lupin.

I did well though, it was just my luck that he managed to get his name down quick because I saw Sev- no. Snape. I saw Snape eyeing the slot up.

It wasn't that I was purposefully avoiding Snape, but, well, okay I was. I was avoiding him. Throughout the whole meeting he was desperately trying to catch my eye or join a conversation. I had been determined not to do so. After what happened last year, I was no longer friends with him. I would treat him like I treated pretty much everyone else I didn't know. No more potion club on a Thursday and no more studying with Snape. He had called me a mudblood, and that was the end of our friendship.

It's hard for me to address the incident as I don't have any sort of understanding about what actually happened. One second I was having a relaxing time with Mar, the next I'm desperately trying to hold back the tears that threatened to plummet down my face faster and harder than anything I have ever known.

My relationship with Snape was strictly (his terms not mine) unofficially officially private. No one was to tag along, and we never really spoke about what we would talk or do together to anyone else. He had always stood up for me when he could, without getting into much trouble in his own house, and kept his mouth shut as soon as wands were drawn. He was that sort of guy, never to say something he didn't mean, never to act in a way he didn't plan or do for a specific reason. Which was why the incident was such a shock to me. The 'mudblood' word had never been used or even hinted at between us. I had asked, in the earlier stages of our friendship, whether being friends with a muggleborn bothered him. He would always answer the exact same, "blood really doesn't matter to me," and shrug it off. It was never mentioned again, and in my mind I didn't think it really affected him other than some of the more judgemental Slytherins taunting us.

As soon as the word left his mouth, I could tell he instantly regretted it. This strange mixture of shock and horror was staring me directly in the face, and I didn't recognise the boy who had spoken the word, and I don't think he did either. I decided then that I didn't think I could look at him much longer, and turned to leave as soon as I could, and over the next couple weeks, I swapped seats, changed my routine and made home in the common room to avoid any sort of contact. It took me a while to get used to his absence. Of course, I had all my other friends to turn to, but no one quite got Potions like he did.

So of course I made it my business to make sure Remus Lupin took the same slot as I did. I passed my quill directly to him, pointed at the free space next to my name and pretty much forced him to sign there. Ha!

"Bit keen, aren't you Evans..." he rowdily bit off, before ruffling my hair up and dodging as I tried to swat him back.

— _A couple days later_ —

I could feel Potters muscular shoulder under my finger as I tapped him. I felt my cheeks turn a spectacular shade. It was a stupid idea anyway.

"Potter," I said, shifting from foot to foot, looking anywhere but his amber eyes.

He nodded, and hand instinctively moved to his hair and ruffled through his dark strands.

"Potter," I repeated, a bit softer, realising my voice had been unnecessarily harsh. He put his pen down, looking up from his work.

"Evans." He replied, as he caught my eye and I sighed. Better cut to it, make it quick.

"Have you seen Remus?" I asked, hoping that he could point me in the right direction and just leave me be. But apparently not.

"Urm, well he was up in the dorm only a couple minutes ago, getting ready. Do you have rounds?"

He asked me, but I knew he knew the answer. Remus would have told him and the look in his eye gave it away. Git.

"Yes, in a couple minutes actually. Do you think I should wait here?" I said, the words coming out too fast. Merlin, now I would have to spend more time with him if he said yes. Oh _Merlin_. I can't think of anything as bad.

"Well, I guess you probably should wait here, so that he doesn't miss you." He grinned up at me and patted the empty seat beside him. I slowly sat down in the chair next to him, and sent him a wary look.

What was I doing, sitting here with Potter, waiting for Remus? The Common room was busy, but we had a secluded table in the furthest corner from the portrait hole. Laid out on the table in front of us was a series of Charms textbooks, parchment and scraps filled with tight writing which i recognised to be Sirius'. The margins of the textbooks were either crowded by notes, or delicate drawings, doodles. They were quite good really, the drawings. There were snitches and wands and swirls of colour, dancing around the page. I traced them with my finger. He quickly covered up a golden snitch with writing in it, but I didn't quite catch what it said.

"I'm just doing my Charms homework, Evans. I'm not going to bite." He commented, and I heard myself laugh and I smiled. I leant over to see what he was writing, his writing chaotic but neatly slanted, and started reading his answers. Charms is my favourite lesson, after all. His answers were detailed and light, not too much information but just the necessary. He was mostly correct, it was just...

I frowned slightly, pointing at question 4.

"You know, Potter, for such a bright boy that people make you out to be, I can't believe you could get this wrong." He looked at where I was pointing, rereading his answer. He must have realised his mistake, and sent me a cheery smile, picking up his quill.

"The movement for a simple 'Substantive' Charm is not twist left and jab forward. Flitwick even said in his lesson today that it was jab and then flick _upwards_."

He stared at me. Hah, Potter. Not such a known-it-all after all. If I'm honest, it wasn't the easiest question, but really, _was_ he listening in Charms? I thought back. It was after someone had asked that question about when to perform the spell, and Flitwick has mentioned how to perform it; if I remember correctly, Potter had been whispering to Sirius, whilst Remus was taking notes. Really, how _did_ this boy do so well in class?

"Well, I'm ever so sorry Evans. Let me just correct my answer..." he took his time rewriting my answer, looking at me when he was finished,

"Is that better?" He asked. I nodded and carried on reading, and continued to pick out his silly mistakes.

Finally, after I had gone through all three pages of parchment worth of homework, and Potter had corrected his answers, did Remus finally make his way down the staircase.

I jumped up from where I was seated.

"Moony, its about time. I don't think I could handle having all my Charms work being corrected by this boffin." Potter said, sending a hooked thumb in my direction. Uh, rude. I blushed.

"Boffin?" I questioned, and Potter got up, standing next to Remus, who was putting on his robes.

"Oh yes. A boffin." Potter grinned mischievously down at me. Why was he _so_ tall; it was slightly intimidating.

"Just because I pay _attention_ in my lessons and put _effort_ into my work, it doesn't make me a boffin." I replied without missing a beat, angrier by the second and Potters grin just widened. He was so rude. I needed to get away before I hit him. I _really_ wanted to hit him, smack that mischievous smile right off his stupid face. Ugh, my fingers itched to...to swipe and scratch and...

Luckily, before I could do any damage, Remus stepped in and pulled me away, muttering all the while.

"Come on, Lily. No point wasting our time here. No point waisting our time here..." with one last look, I stormed away, stomping out of the portrait hole, not looking back, but knowing fully well that _he_ was smirking.

Prat.

— _A little later on—_

Turns out, the rounds were not that bad. No one hexed us, and I'm still here to tell the tale. In the end, it was more like a continuous walk around the tower, filled with endless chatter to Remus, who I didn't really know, it turns out.

He really is quite interesting. He is half-blood, but his mother is ill, which explains why he was always out of school. He gets ill often as well, but he doesn't make a big deal of it. His favourite subject is Defence against the Dark Arts, but he also enjoys Transfiguration and Potions. He prefers Chocolate Frogs to Cauldron Cakes, loves chocolate, and Dumbledore is his favourite professor. He has no siblings and therefore counts the Marauders as his brothers. He says that 'James' isn't actually a prat and is actually considerate and understanding (sure...), Sirius has a wicked sense of humour, and Peter is kind-hearted, enjoys a laugh but has his head screwed on straight, unlike the other two. They are his brothers, and he loves them for that. He enjoys lessons and Quiditch, but doesn't play Quiditch; he isn't interested in playing. He loves practical work, however can't bare essay writing. He wants to become a Professor, and teach Defence. He finds it hard to trust people, however he is getting better at it. He is more of a morning person than evening, but doesn't "get up as ridiculously early as James does". He enjoys being a Prefect, however Sirius endlessly teases him about it, and Remus hopes he doesn't ever become Head boy.

By 9:00pm, we reached the Common room again, knowing a whole lot more about each other then before we had started. It was late, but we took a seat and carried on talking. I enjoyed his company. He was really quite interesting and had a great sense of humour. We ate his endless stash of chocolate and chatted about books we had both read (who knew Remus was such a bookworm?). However, entertainment of the evening was definitely whispering as we watched Susan Bones and Bryan Arthur break up. It was quite a scene, and we were in fits of laughter.

"But BRYYAAANNNNN!" Bones shrieked, tears running down her flushed face. Remus whispered a highly accurate impersonation into my ear and I felt my own tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Susan, you KNOW she likes me more!" Arthur fought back, rolling his eyes at the distressed girl in front of him. I felt a little bad, but when you have had such a good evening as I had, it really was necessary to take a seat and watch.

"You can't say THATTTT"

"I can, Susie-"

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!"

"Right. Susan, you KNOW I can say that-"

"FOR MERLINS SAKE, ARTHUR, JUST GO _AWAY_!" Susan finally shouted.

"Urgh, stubborn girls and their stupid, sodding feelings." Arthur turned away, muttering all the way, whilst Susan sat down, sobbing into her friends arms.

"HE JUST BROKE UP WITH MEEEEEE!" She wailed, whilst her friend rubbed her back reassuringly.

I turned to Remus, face straight, and whisper-wailed, "Aghhhh, he just broke up with meeeee!" And both Remus and I fell back into the sofa, laughing and gasping for breath.

— _The girls dorm_ —

After the nights entertainment, I wandered up to the dorm on a high. However, I opened the door to a chaotic scene; Marly hopping about, trying to dodge the mountains of clothes that completely covered the wooden floors.

"What in the world-'' I muttered, making Marly jump out of her skin and miss her foot, causing her to slip on one of Dory's Quiditch arm pads and then tumble to the ground, cushioned by the clothing there.

"Fuck!" She cursed loud, grabbing her foot which had only just dodged the corner of a bed. "Fuck fuck fuck!"

I would have gone over to help, had I known where to start. There was just no way I could get to her without stepping on, or potentially tripping on, the piles upon piles _upon piles_ of clothes that were strewn before me.

Every cupboard in the room had been flung open and emptied. Every single sock had somehow made its way onto the floor, and every chest of drawers sat empty and bare.

I couldn't help but laugh a little. Here I was, after curfew, walking into the dorm to find my friend cursing whilst desperately trying to get up, but failing quite miserably.

She tried grabbing onto the bed, but slipped again after stepping on Alice's silk scarf. She fell back onto her bruised bum.

"Fuck! For fucks sake!" She looked over to me, scowling fiercely. "Lily! Please, help me. I can't for the life of me get up, and I can't seem to find anything! All I want to do is go to bed, but I can't and now I have made this mess and I am going to have to tidy it up and," she looked about her, patting down her robes, "and of course!" She sighed and rolled her eyes, "of course, I can't even find my bloody wand!" she looked at me helplessly, her eyes big and watering slowly as she realised the mess she was in. "Please, Lil."

I giggled to myself, drawing out my wand.

"Here, stay still." And I cast a charm and together we watched as socks, jumpers, robes, bras, hairbands, jackets, dresses and more folded themselves back into their drawers neatly, and the floor was revealed once more, with only Marly left on it.

She sighed in relief, leaning her head back onto the floor, and I made my way over.

"Mar, what's going on?"

And I watched as she blinked slowly, a tear dripping down her pink cheek as her chest heaved.

"Hey, Mar come on. Don't cry, look the mess is all gone. Don't cry..." I said, running over to her and squeezing her shoulders.

She gasped a little bit, sitting up next to me, and attempted a smile.

"Tha...thanks Lil," she stuttered, wiping her nose with her sleeve, and I grabbed a tissue for her.

"Here," I patted on her bed and she came over and sat down. "Now, what in the world was that all about?"

"Oh, nothing Lil, really nothing..." Marley got out, not quite catching my eye and I immediately knew something was up.

Since when did Marley keep secrets from me?

We had been best friends since day one, and since then we had never not told the other when something was going on. She knew everything about me, everything. She knew all about my sister and her little petty mind games and she knew about Snape. She was the first one I told back in third year when I lost my wand and she was also the first one to know I kissed Matheiw Pallay back in Fourth year. She always knew who I liked and disliked. She always knew when something was wrong and she even had my timetable stuck on her wall so she knew where I would be after each lesson.

Yet she wouldn't tell me why I had just found our room look like a bomb had hit it with her crying in the middle of it all.

"Nothing is wrong? Really, Mar, as if I am gonna buy that one," I whined, rolling my eyes and crossing my arms over my chest.

"Fine, okay. I was just looking for something I lost," she turned her nose to the air stubbornly and stood up, "Lily, I'm going to bed now." And she ushered me off the bed and began to undress.

I sighed.

I had no idea what she was looking for, but it was clearly important, otherwise she wouldn't have emptied everyones closets. But she wouldn't tell me, and it meant a lot to her.

Giggling voices approached and the rest of the dorm entered, oblivious to the mess it had been a couple minutes ago.

"-but you will never guess what he said next. He said he was going to..." Alice stopped her excited chatter when she spotted Marley red eyed and snotty.

"Marley?" She asked, and the other girls looked at her too. "Mar? You are not crying, are you?" She asked in shock, making her way over to where the stubborn girl was quietly brushing her blonde locks.

She smiled at them like nothing was wrong, settled her brush down onto her chest of drawers and tied her hair into a bun on top of her head as she did every night.

"No? Why, does it look like I have?" She asked, lying through her teeth. I stared at her in disbelief, squinting my eyes.

Alice sighed in relief.

"Oh, yes. Yes, it does. I got all worried for a second," Alice carried on, turning to Dory and Emma who had entered with her. "It wasn't just me, was it?"

"I did wonder for a second," Dory started, and Emma nodded along as she made her way to her bed and began getting ready for bed. "But I have never seen Marley cry so I didn't quite know for sure."

Marley giggled and turned away from me.

"No no, I'm quite alright. Slughorn had a go at me in Potions today so I'm worn," she whined, getting into her duvet and snuggling down.

"Sluggy never did like you did he?" Dory commented, biting her lip, and I nodded. Slughorn really had disliked Marley.

"But I was just telling Dory and Em what Frank had asked me just after dinner," Alice mentioned and Marley wiggled her brows suggestively as she did whenever there was any of _this_ type of news.

"Ooo, lets hear," Marley asked, "did he woo you with a haiku or snog you into submission?"

"Marley!" Emma cried as she often did. She was rather shy and didn't enjoy Marley's dirty chatter.

"I heard he was rather good at the whole 'eating each others face off' business," Marley carried on, and poor Emma marched into the bathroom and locked the door after her.

"Marley, I-"

"We all know Alice wouldn't let that happen" Dory started, "if you know Alice at all, _she_ probably jumped him!" Dory called from her side of the room, and we all burst into laughter as Alice went bright pink.

"Was he a good one, Al?" Marly asked, as Alice climbed into bed, "did he make you-"

"He's good with his wand, I heard," I added and Mar cackled out loud, "oh yes, I hear he really has some good wand work."

And that was that. Marley, Dory and I were all rolling around in laughter, Alice was dying in humiliation and I'm sure Emma was probably make a bed in the bathtub.

— _Horrifically early the next day_ —

"Blood hell, where the actual-"

I turned over in my bed. It was early. Far too early.

"Where the actual _fuck_ did I put my _bloody_ socks?"

Agh. Stop. Making. Noise.

"' _Put them somewhere safe_ ," she mimicked "somewhere you will remember, pah. As if. I bet she bloody well moved them on _purpose_ just to prove a _bloody_ -"

"SHUT UP!" I screeched, probably far too loud and far to aggressively, but it was 6 am so I got away with it.

"Alright _moody_. I'm just trying to find my BLOODY socks! I have training in _TEN_ MINUTES and I haven't eaten a _fucking_ thing-" Dory shouted back, and I sat up, now wide awake.

Her black curls tied tightly on her head, Dory was tossing books over her shoulder. She was dressed for practise, with her maroon quiditch kit, minus the socks and shoes.

"Well where did you last see them?" I asked, getting up. I was up now, I may as well make myself useful.

"I chucked them somewhere yesterday," she answered, now on her hands and knees and digging about under her bed.

I sighed. It was far too early for this. I grabbed my wand and quickly accio'd them.

"Holy shit-" Dory had rather a dirty mouth at 6 am, if you hadn't noticed.

"Why are you up so early anyway? Surely you can't have practise _now_?" I yawned, stretched and grabbed some uniform. It was a stunning day and I was going to make the most of it.

"Don't even get me started. Only a right pillock would have practise at 6 am," she sat down on my bed as I did my shirt buttons up. "And that right old pillock _demands_ that we all be there or we are _kicked off the team._ He is barmy, the fucking dolt, absolutely off his rocker," Dory moaned as I pulled on my shoes and clumsily tied my hair in what I hoped was a rather sophisticated messy bun-birds-nest thing.

"I can't agree with you more," I muttered, shoving my toothbrush into my mouth and having a quick scrub.

"I mean, who is even awake enough at 6 am to play quiditch? Which, may I remind you, is a highly dangerous sport! Think how easily you can be knocked off your broom or how easily distracted one is at such an unearthly time in the morning!? I'm quite surprised no one has injured themselves yet," ahh, with the minty taste of toothpaste in my mouth, I made my way back into the dorm where Dory was impatiently pacing.

"Didn't you say you hadn't eaten?" I grabbed Dory's arm and began making my way down to breakfast. I, for one, was _starving_.

We entered the almost-empty hall and quickly made our way over to the table where mostly the team sat and ate.

"About time Dory, don't ya think?" Sirius called as we approached, "was beginning to think you weren't coming!"

"Now, now Black. Don't jump to conclusio-"

" _And_ you've brought company, fancy that!" He cut her off, chewing loudly on a piece of toast.

Ew. Manners much.

"Good morning to you too, Sirius," I sat down opposite him and started piling my plate with my favourites. Toast, crêpes and of course, melon. Yum.

"And what would _you_ be doing up so early this fine morning?" Sirius asked, downing a glass of pumpkin juice loudly.

"I was woken up, actually. It wasn't planned. Had it been my choice, I would still be sleeping, tucked up and fast, _fast_ asleep, not due to wake up for another couple hours." I sighed rather dramatically, before sending a noisy Dory a (what I hoped was) menacing stare. "But of course, someone had misplaced her socks this morning and completely forgot she was a witch, and I _had_ to be woken up by her dirty, colourful language."

"Ooooh, Dorcas Meadowes! I did _not_ know you had such a wide, colourful vocabulary; please, enlighten me," Sirius shouted, grabbing the teams attention.

"Cut it, you wanker," she snapped back, "anyways, I only learnt from the best."

And the bint nodded her head in my direction, causing pretty much the whole teams eyes to follow.

I must have turned a marvellous shade of scarlet.

"Well I never, my Lily Evans has a potty mouth?" Sirius called in mock horror.

"Oh haven't you heard, Padfoot," Potter called out from where he was sitting, "Evans vocab is nearly as wide as my-"

"My oh my! I don't think I have heard a single _foul_ word leave her mouth before-" Sirius cut in, just in time.

"We hold secret meetings to discus the fine art of cussing!" Dory quipped back, making me choke on my tea.

"Can we join?" Potter asked innocently, and I shook my head.

"It's all _very_ top secret. Only those _with_ potential are allowed to join," I quickly answered, mopping up the mess I had made with a quick flick of my wand.

"Shame. It really does sound like something I would enjoy..."

"I wonder Lily, would you mind helping out at practise?" Dory turned and asked, and I shook my head out of habit.

Voluntarily going to quiditch practise? Uh uh. No way. Quiditch was boring enough as it is. The only thing that makes me go to the matches was the team spirit (there was no way anyone could put Gryffindor down without me going after them with hexes at the tip of my tongue) and to watch Sirius and Dory play. I was in no way whatsoever interested in the game. In fact, I found it all a bit stupid really. Football was crazy enough, and that was with one ball. So why on earth would you need _four_!? Especially one which was purposefully (some would say tactically) hit towards another player with the power to knock them off their broom. Really, people made such a big deal over it.

"Lil-yy" she whined, shaking my arm, "nothing physical, we just need someone to help James keep track of our laps."

I eyed her dubiously.

"That's it. All you have to do is stand their and simply draw a tally every time James says so." She smiled sweetly at me, "and it's not like you have anything better to do..."

I rolled my eyes. She knew me too well.

"Fine, I will do it." She clapped her hands in glee, "but if you dare, if you _bloody_ dare try get me on one of those wooden sticks you call a broom, I will personally make sure it's your last practise, Dorcas Meadowes!"

And then the captain called his team (and me) out to the pitch, where he stood everyone on the pitch for a briefing.

"Right. This morning we will, urm, today we will be doing as I said, which is some stamina training." He looked at me as if to make a point, before carrying on. "You will all be doing laps for ten minutes straight," a couple moans broke out, "and we will count how many you do. The more you do, the higher stamina you show and this will be recorded."

"Really, Prong- Captain?" Sirius complained, "at _this_ time in the morning?"

"You saw how quick those Hufflepuffs were last season," Potter commented back, lifting an eyebrow, "and you're all lacking a bit of stamina anyway. You all get hot and sweaty before scoring, for Merlins sake."

The team sighed, and picked up their brooms.

"Five warm up laps to get you started," Potter called, before sticking two fingers into his mouth.

Immediately, the team rose into the air, and flew off as soon as the high pitched whistle could be heard.

The captain turned and handed me a clipboard.

"Right Evans, all you have to do is tally when I say, okay?" I nodded in understanding, feeling slightly intimidated by this new, bossy side of the guy standing before me.

"Surely you should be flying as well, Potter?" I added cheekily, and his hand went to his hair.

"I have to keep count," he explained, checking the time on his watch, before looking back up at me, "besides, I wouldn't want to make the team look bad."

"Ahh, I think they are excuses, Potter," I shook a finger at his chest, "and especially as the captain, surely you would need to keep fit as well?"

"Trust me, I do keep fit. What do you think I spend my spare time doing, Evans?"

I thought. Hm, what could Potter do in his spare time? Think of new pranks to pull? Seduce fifth years in the corridors? Read a novel? I wonder...

"I would rather not know," I grunted, turning away from and quickly drawing up a tally. The team were just finishing their 'warm up,' and were landing in front of us again.

"Good, right. Is everyone here?" We all looked back into the sky as the last flyer landed. I stood at the front next to the captain, watching as they all breathed heavily and wiped at their sticky foreheads.

"What I want you all to think about as you fly is your spatial awareness. Urm," his hand went straight to his hair and he squinted his eyes in thought. "Right, spatial awareness is important, because you need to know what's around you, _especially_ if it's a bludger coming at full speed towards your head." He looked suggestively at one boy at the front and Sirius laughed.

"Trust Woody to not see that one coming," he called out, rustling the boys hair.

"Coming from you Sirius! You thought that poor Hufflepuff defender was a bludger and broke his collarbone, you arse," Dory called and the team broke out into a breathy laughter.

"Nice one Dory," Potter called, winking at me. "But back to spatial awareness. I just want you to be persistent and maybe you could enjoy it as well?"

"Enjoy it?," Sirius grunted, earning him a slap across the face.

"On my whistle," and then the captain blew and they were off, just blurs in the sky.

"Right, so what am I doing?" I asked, the realisation dawning on me that I didn't quite know what I was doing.

Potters eyes snapped onto me after watching his team for a few seconds.

"Oh, yeah. So, just write the numbers on the back of their kit down, so Dory is three," I jotted down a three and then Potter read out all the numbers for me.

"And look, Dory has just finished her first lap, so put a tally..." he watched as I did as he asked, before giving me more as the rest of the team finished their first lap.

"Perfect." He fiddled with his own broom as I finished my tallying.

"What number are you, then?" I asked, stepping back to have a look at the back of his kit.

"A lucky seven," he answered grinning back at me.

"Lucky?"

"Yeah, it's meant to be superstitious or something," he lifted a brow and grinned. "I was seven days old when I first showed any signs of magic."

"What did you do?"

"I summoned dads beer and took a sip."

"You have a long way to go."

"I know," he smirked.

"So, that makes it a magic number?" I asked, slightly dubious.

"Especially in Quiditch," he explained, "there are seven hundred fouls, and seven players on a team."

"Right, of course," I muttered shaking my head at him in shock. Who knew someone could be so bonkers over Quiditch?

"And, as you are so into your charms, there are _seven_ different known spell types."

"Jinx, hex, curse," I started.

"Counter-spell, healing spell, transfiguration and-"

"Charms." I finished off, staring at him in awe. I had honestly never thought about the number seven before, and I certainly was never going to look at it the same way again. "Merlin, it really is quite-"

"Lucky," Potter cut me off, smiling widely at me. "It's a very lucky number. Two..." he pointed back down at my neglected clipboard as we remembered the task ahead of us.

"Oh, yeah," I mumbled as I fiddled with the tally.

Potter scratched idly at the back of his head. "I think I have lost count."

"Huh?"

He stared absently into the sky at his team, "we were talking and I forgot to tell you when they..." he waved in the teams general direction and I nodded.

"Who would have done the most?" I showed him the board.

"Goldstein, four," he pointed and I quickly tallied up...

— _Quiditch changing rooms_ —

"Lily Evans, I cannot believe it!" Dory shouted as she collected her kit bag.

"What?" I asked in bewilderment. I stared as she collected her dripping hair into a bun and picked up her broom. She stomped past me.

"It has been six years, _six years_ , and you have never, ever let _me_ take you on a broom," she shouted, her voice growling.

I rolled my eyes. I hated flying. It wasn't that I was scared of heights, because I wasn't. I didn't mind heights really, but flying is more than just heights. I like to have control, especially if I am 100 metres off the ground on a magical twig.

"And you don't even like the _twat_ , and you let him whisk you off round the pitch!" She jabbed her broom into my stomach as I caught up with her, causing me to yelp in pain. Really, a dirty mouth and violent actions. Dory was going to need counselling.

"Dory, I told you he practically threatened me! You know I wouldn't have-" I started, rubbing my tummy to make a point.

She whirled round as we left the building.

"Oh don't you start that with me, Lily Evans!" Her face was bright red and we were gathering quite a lot of attention as the rest of the team filed out. "You can chat someone round your finger just as well as your charms and you _bloody well_ know it."

I didn't know whether she was really angry or just playing at it.

It had all started when the team had left to shower, and Potter asked me to help clear up.

"Oi, Evans!" He shouted, and I turned to see him plodding towards me, broom in hand.

"Fancy helping me tidy up?" He asked, picking up some neglected brooms from the ground. "Just need to get these back to the broom shed," he pointed over to the wooden hut.

"Sure." I bent over and began picking up the sweaty brooms, noticing just how heavy they were. I could only carry three before my arms would ache.

"Merlin, these are heavy!" I exclaimed in surprise, wondering how on earth Potter managed to tuck seven or eight under his arm and then a couple more over his shoulder.

"Have you never held a broom, Evans?" He asked, as we made our way over to the hut.

I shook my head. "Only back when we had to take flying lessons. I haven't gone near one since."

"Why not?" He asked, with a face of pure horror as if he couldn't believe it.

"Well if you hand't noticed, Potter, I certainly am _not_ into Quiditch," I said, dumping my brooms into the cupboard.

"That's still no reason not to fly," he said, as we trudged back up to the pitch to collect the remaining few left.

"I'm just not interested, okay?" I bit out, getting bored of the conversation. I made my way to the furthest broom and all but dragged it to the next. My arms killed.

"But you won't understand the adrenalin-" he started, and I whirled round at him.

"Potter, I'm. Not. Interested." I bit my tongue before I could say anything I would regret. I had an unhealthy habit and I really needed to do something about it.

"Okay, okay, change of subject." He held up his hands in surrender, whilst still managing to balance three on his shoulder.

I went to pick up a particularly heavy broom, when he shouted out, "nope, not that one! You can leave that there."

"Why?" I asked stubbornly.

He stood straight, holding onto the brooms this time. "That ones mine, and I want it to stay there."

I rolled my eyes and began walking back to the hut.

"Did you just roll your eyes at me, Evans?"

He ran to catch up, still managing to keep those damn brooms on his shoulder.

"Yes, that was an eye roll, Potter."

"I am the _captain_ of the team, Evans. You don't roll your eyes at me," he mocked.

"Mighty sorry, captain," I joked back. He poked me in the ribs playfully.

"Oy!" I furrowed my brows, stopping in my tracks. "You just touched my person!"

He poked me again, and I swatted him away. "Potter!"

He grabbed my arm and pushed me forwards, towards the cupboard where he grabbed the final brooms off me and locked them away.

"Really Potter, there is no need for this. I can walk by myself without you pushing me!" He was still holding onto me, so I had to go wherever he went. "Potter! Hey- stop that! You are going the wrong way anyway! I'm going back to the castle-"

He stopped, and finally let go of my arm, causing me to jump in delight.

"Hurrah! Look, my arm! I'm free once more!" I did a little jiggle and stepped away from him.

"Not quite yet." The captain's voice was low and he looked at me with squinted eyes. It was very intimidating. My eyes widened.

"What in the world-"

"Get on the broom," he said, nodding towards his broom innocently lying on the floor. I stared at it dubiously.

"Go on, it's not gonna bite," he muttered in a lighter tone, and pushed me forward slightly.

"No, Potter, I really must be going-"

He came closer, a pushing finger dangerously close to my chest.

"Fuck off," I called, swatting his hand away.

"I said," and he took another step towards me, so I had to take walk backwards, closer to the broom, so I wasn't being prodded, "get on the broom."

"Why?"

"Because I said so!" He rolled his eyes and waved his hand threateningly. I had no choice.

"Up," I called to the broom, like we did back in first year flying classes. Surprisingly, the broom came straight to my hand and I slowly hopped on, gripping rather tightly onto the handle.

"Okay, I'm on. Now I'm getting off-"

And I began to swing my leg back over the side, as Potter jumped on and all but flew off.

I will admit it. I did scream. Just a little, okay maybe a bit, but he went so quick and I thought I was going to fall!

"Fuck!" I screamed, the wind in my face causing my eyes to water. I couldn't see much, Potter was just a maroon and brown blob in front of me.

"Bloody hell! Potter get me down!" I screamed, holding on as tight as I could onto his shoulders.

"Not a chance," he called back, aiming upwards.

"Shit, bloody fucking-"

"Hold on," he called again, and I closed my eyes tight, tucking my head into his back so I couldn't see.

"Potter please! I beg, please, can I get off!" I shouted out, muffled by his back.

"We haven't even done the best bit yet..."

"JAMES POTTER!" I screeched, hating the sound of my own voice.

"Alright, alright," he mumbled just so I could hear him, and I felt the broom slow down and I looked up again. We were headed straight for the ground, and although we were slower than before, it seemed to come to us quite quickly, in fact, if we didn't stop soon we might... oh my, it was there, we were going to crash...

"Potter! UP! Fly UP!" I began to yank the broom upwards as hard as I could, my breathing increasing in speed. Oh my god. I was going to die.

This was it. There was no way we could make it. The grass was so close I could probably reach out and grab it. We were going to crash, and there was no way we could both come out alive.

I clenched my eyes shut and dug my nails into his shoulders. I was waiting, waiting for the inevitable crash...

Hang on. I was still... I could still feel his shoulders...

I popped one eye open, gasping at the sight. We were flying. We were still bloody flying! How had we done it? We had been so close!

The captain guided the broom back to the ground.

"Bloody hell, Potter!" I screamed, staring at the back of his head with all the anger I could muster in my state of shock.

His shoulders moved up and down, in a strangely familiar motion. We stopped, and I slid off as quick as I could, my legs feeling like jelly.

I looked back up to the captain, still on his broom, to see he was laughing. He was laughing! The bloody wanker had almost killed the both of us, and was laughing!

"You actually have the audacity to laugh?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest. "You almost killed us both, Potter, if I hadn't pulled the broom up when I had-"

He laughed even more, leaning forward onto his broom, mouth open wide so I could see all his teeth.

"I give up. Your mad. Completely bonkers," I turned my back to him and began making my way up to the castle.

That was it. My first near-death experience. What would have happened if we had crashed? Would anyone see? Would anyone come help us? Or would anyone realise we had gone missing?

"The Wronski Feint." The captain, of course, still on his broom, had flown up next to me. I refused to answer.

"When a seeker pretends to spot the snitch far below and races to catch it, hoping the opposing seeker will copy. At the last second before reaching the ground, the feinting seeker pulls out of a dive, and the following seeker would crash into the ground," he explained, grinning at me.

"Vile," I commented at that sick idea of a tactic. Tricking someone to crash into the ground? Really!?

"Genius."

"You call that genius?" I muttered, "we nearly _died_ there, Potter. We nearly _died_!"

"Ahh, Evans, live a little, ay?" And the bastard flew off before I could say another word.

"Asshole," I muttered and I heard him laugh somewhere in the distance.

And that's when I made the decision to go find Dory, who I thought _wouldn't_ try and kill me. But watching her now, I wouldn't be too sure.

"Dory, please. Calm down, okay?" I watched as her shoulders dropped, thankful for how calming I sounded. "Let's just...stop. I didn't want to, merlin, I didn't want to, and you know that. It's just a broom, for merlins sake. We really are so stupid," I made a poor attempt at a laugh, daring to walk slightly closer.

"Right, yes. Sorry, Lil, you're so right," and she dropped her back on the floor in defeat. "Why am I getting so worked up? He probably had to threaten to _shag_ you to get you on a broom-"

"Who shagged who?" A deep, and annoyingly familiar voice called as he exited the male changing rooms. Sirius Black.

"No one shagged anyone, Sirius," I sighed.

"He must have promised you a thorough shag in order for you to actually sit on his broom," he smirked, eyes lighting up at the sight of me turning a dark shade of red.

"I don't need a thorough shag from anyone, thank you very much," I bit back, my face hot.

"If you are ever in need-"

"I'm sure she will have other, more _skilled_ blokes begging on their knees to sleep with her," Dory bit out, rather aggressively.

"Feeling left out, are we?" Sirius grinned again. I was so desperate just to slap him across his bloody face. "I guess I could talk to Potter for you, try and convince to let a third join the party..."

I stuck two fingers in my mouth. Gross. As much as I loved Sirius, he really did have the dirtiest mind.

"I think we should be going, before he gets carried away," I muttered, grabbing Dory before she could say anything else and dragging her back to the castle.

— _That evening_ —

The next Hogsmeade trip was on Merlin remembrance day, and was a big deal, according to Alice, Marly and Dorcas. Emmeline, rather the bookish type, spent her Hogsmeade trips cuddled up reading a novel.

I wasn't too excited. I have been to Hogsmeade many times before, and Merlins was just another trip, another date in the calendar. In the past, Merlins Day was a day to look forward to; lessons were cancelled, uniform was optional and the library was filled with Merlins works.

"I can't wait! Frank has promised to take me." Alice sat upon her bed, next to Dory, and we all chatted about the upcoming event.

"Aw Frank is so sweet," Marly whined, looking at Alice in aspiration, "I wish I had a Frank to take _me_ to Hogsmeade." She sulked, and I wrapped an arm around her.

"S'Alright Marly, you got me. We can have a date." I giggled and Marly smiled. I didn't mind going with Marly, in fact, they always turned out better than going on a date.

"And Dory can tag along too," Marly added, patting the girl in question on the leg.

"Joyous. I'd much rather be on the Quiditch pitch-" Dory started before we cut her off.

"Doryyyyyy."

"Come on, you can't do that!"

"We promise it will be fun."

"We will go to The Three Broomsticks and get Butterbeer and have a better time than _quiditch._ "

"We will force you to come."

"Yes. Yes we will. We will chase you and charm you to come with us and we will make sure you enjoy it."

"Yes, and we will go to Honeydukes and Zonkos and we can go on a walk and..."

"And you _will_ come with!"

"The only exception would be if a boy asks you out-"

"-which would never happen-"

"And then-"

"Don't be sour, Dory, you _know_ boys adore your fiery temper!"

"Oh yes, remember back in fourth year when Michael Gubblin asked you out after a rather rough Quiditch practise and you chucked a quaffle at him!"

"And then you snuck out during the night to snog him in the dungeons as an apology-"

"Ugh, don't remind me!"

"-but you weren't warned before hand that McGonagall was patrolling down there, and of course she walked right into your kinky little performance..."

We all burst into laughter as Dory covered her face in shame.

"Fine! Fine. I'll come. But you have to swear that no one will know about...about McGonagall walking in whilst I was giving Michael a wa-''

An owl tapped on the window, interrupting Dory. He was light brown, with amber eyes and two whiter feathers on his chest. In his beak he held a letter.

A letter. For me.

"Lil, it's for you!" Alice was closest, and opened the window as I rushed over, grabbing the letter. I opened it and read it.

 _Dear Boffin,_

 _Just thanking you for the help with my Charms, Flitwick got a lovely surprise and even bothered speaking to me at the end of the class about my immense improvement._

 _See you later, I'm sure,_

 _James Potter_

"Who is it?" Alice asked, leaning forward to read it. I rolled my eyes and pulled it to my chest.

"Really, it's nothing. Just Potter thanking me for helping with his charms."

"You helped Potter with charms?"

I nodded, heating up a bit. I got up and walked over to my chest of drawers.

Typical _._ Typical Potter. Such a silly note, so unnecessary. I picked up some parchment and a quill, writing my reply:

 _ **Dear Potter,**_

 _ **Thank you for your totally unnecessary note, it was comforting to know Flitwick noticed your suddenly correct homework, rather surprising really.**_

 _ **Maybe it's better for you, and me, if you pay attention in class rather than chat, and then maybe you will be blessed with another talk from Flitwick after class.**_

 _ **See you later, probably not,**_

 _ **Lily Evans, not a Boffin**_

 _Lily Evans, not a Boffin,_

 _Thank you for your reply, it really was surprising, unlike when Flitwick noticed my homework, which, like the rest of my work, was correct._

 _Sirius and I were merely having a chat about Hogsmeade trips, talking of which, is coming up very soon. Any plans?_

 _See you later, I'll make sure of it,_

 _James Potter_

 _ **Potter,**_

 _ **No thank-you for your ever arrogant reply. I'm pretty sure I just saw Flitwick in the Hospital Wing, drastically suffering from shock. Maybe you won't be getting a chat from him anytime soon.**_

 _ **Hogsmeade plans? No, probably out with Dory and Marly, like three widows. Al is with Frank for most of the day, nauseating lovebirds that they are.**_

 _ **See you later, I BLOODY WELL HOPE NOT,**_

 _ **Lily Evans, Still not a Boffin.**_

 _Lily Evans, Still not a Boffin,_

 _Thank you for your kind words. I hope my work didn't cause Flitwick to pass out, did it? I know I'm quite astonishing, but I didn't make him faint, did I?_

 _I don't think I will be getting a chat from him any time soon then._

 _Well, I can't let you go to Hogsmeade a widow! Why don't you come to Hogsmeade with ME? I'm sure it will be fun, boffin._

 _See you later, I promise,_

 _James Potter_

 _ **Potter,**_

 _ **No thank-you for your letter, still not necessary. I just sent Flitwick some flowers, and I hope you will too, as the culprit. And no, your arrogance didn't make him faint, but your surprisingly CORRECT homework did.**_

 _ **Nope, I don't think you will be getting a chat with him any time soon either.**_

 _ **Potter, no, I will not go with you to Hogsmeade, if that was an invitation. I wouldn't want to risk fainting, and then not receiving flowers, like poor Flitwick.**_

 _ **Don't call me boffin.**_

 _ **See you later, at your funeral,**_

 _ **Lily Evans, who is going to bed and won't reply.**_

 _Lily Evans, who is going to bed and won't reply,_

 _The Lilies are for you, not Flitwick, as I believe you deserve them more._

 _Let's hope sleep knocks some sense into you, there is still time to accept my invitation tomorrow._

 _I won't call you a boffin, if you call me 'James'._

 _See you tomorrow, with some sense,_

 _James_

— _The next morning_ —

The Lilies were still there, on my bedside table, when I woke up the next morning. My other dorm members didn't question them, except Marly who raised an eyebrow at the sight of them.

We went down to breakfast, where the other sixth years already sat. I sat next to Remus, Marly on my other side. Dory and Alice sat opposite, and Peter and Black next to them. Potter hadn't arrived yet.

"Morning!" Sirius was in a bright mood, as he almost never was on a weekend which wasn't Hogsmeade. Marly and Dory murmured their greetings back, helping themselves to the spread in front of us.

I wasn't hungry, so just went to grab the jug of Pumpkin juice, when a larger hand reached the handle before I did. I looked up to find Potter standing there, smirking, with my jug in his hand. I instantly felt that familiar fire burn in my stomach, and glared.

"Evans, what a lovely morning it is, sleep well?" He asked me, full of mockery and knowing. I blushed, growing angrier.

"Oh for merlins _sake_ , Potter. Can't a poor girl get a drink of Pumkpin juice _before_ being interrogated?" I shot back, giving him a scowl, and nodding my head towards the jug that was now pouring a glass..wait... TWO glasses of Juice. Oh _Merlin_.

"Of course, Evans," He smirked again, picked up a glass, handed it to me and said, "as you wish."

I huffed, looking about to check no one was watching. This was so embarrassing. I took the glass from his grasp and took a long gulp. I sat down, immediately joining Marly and Sirius' conversation about Merlin knows what.

"-but of course, we can't assume that, can't we Lily?" Marly looked at me, a knowing grin plastered on her face. I simply stared at her, confused. She sighed, looking back at Sirius, and saying loudly,

"Lily woke up to a bedside table FULL of Lilies." I blushed, she _really_ didn't need to say it that loud, Sirius was just next to her.

"I think she has a secret admirer." My mouth dropped open. WHAT?

A secret admirer? Was she kidding! It was only Lilies, and only from Potter. It wasn't even a proper bunch of flowers, just one or two. It was nothing. She wasn't meant to tell everyone.

Goodness, I really needed to teach her to shut her mouth.

"A secret WHAT?" Potter asked, apparently only hearing the last part of Marlys announcement. Oh _Merlin_.

Marlene smirked, "A secret Admirer," she repeated. Potter had a similar reaction to me, mouth gaping like a fish, blushing cheeks and eyebrows furrowed.

 _Merlin, Merlin, Merlin_.

"An...an..Admirer? Who?" Potter asked, growing redder by the second.

"Well, I thought it might be Liam Mildmoon, that Hufflepuff prefect," Remus joined in, leaning forward in his seat, hands slotted together, "but he was sent to the Hospital Wing." He raised an eyebrow at Potter, who was avoiding eye contact. I narrowed my eyes. Odd.

"Odd isn't it?" Sirius added, as if reading my mind, and Marly nodded her head over-enthusiastically. I narrowed my eyes at them all.

They were all acting so...knowingly. They knew something, something about Liam.

"What's going on?" I asked no one in particular. No one answered so I looked at Potter, who was, suspiciously, avoiding me.

"For Merlins sake, Potter. What did you do?" He carried on eating, munching away at his breakfast. I huffed until finally someone answered. It was Sirius.

"I think old Prongs heard that Mildmoon was thinking of asking you to Hogsmeade." He said, winking at me, and I blushed deeply. Remus joined in again.

"So, it's quite a coincidence that Mildmoon is in the Hospital Wing this morning, isn't it?"

Potter grunted and Sirius, Remus and Peter chuckled.

Hospital Wing? But wait, did Potter _hex_ Liam? He didn't even know the poor bloke! Surely Liam didn't do something _so_ bad that Potter had to go hex him, did he? But Potter has been known go round hexing people for no apparent reason...

But, Remus had said Liam was going to ask me to Hogsmeade, and Potter asked me to Hogsmeade so mayb-

"Not too late to change your mind, Evans." Potters face was mere centimetres from mine. Everyone else was getting up to go, and I was still frozen in my seat.

"I won't go to Hogsmeade with you until pigs fly, Potter." I got up and turned away from him, and stalked out the hall.

— _Later on_ —

We made our way to the Common Room, dripping wet and on a high. It had been such a great day, and I was slightly glad to be back in the warmth, the goosebumps on my arms, legs and neck turning blue.

My white lacy top was stuck to my skin, slightly transparent, and my jeans were ruined. My shoes were soaked and I took them off so my feet could warm themselves on the carpet. I pulled my hair back into a messy bun, and we all made our way to the empty sofa near the fireplace. The common room was nearly empty, and it was nice to be able to crash out on the best sofa near the fire. I sat as close as I could to the flames, and grabbed a blanket from the back of the sofa, and chucked it over Marley and Remus who had sat down next to me.

"Exploding snap? Anyone for a game?" Peter asked, bringing out a packet of cards and dealing them out as we all nodded in anticipation. I had played a couple times, and had seen Peter play it all the time with the rest of the Marauders.

We hadn't intended to let the boys crash our date, but they had. Non too surprisingly, it had been fun. They joined us for a butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks and then we all trekked to Honeydukes to stock up on some sweet bits.

I had headed straight to my favourite, the fudge. Mmm, fudge. Gooey and sweet, I would do anything for a lump of the stuff. I had been joined by Potter, too.

Ah, a fellow fudge lover.

"Fudge lover?" I asked, sifting through the different flavours; Popping Peppermint Fudge, Candy Cane Fudge, Easy Peanut Butter Fudge, Pumpkin Butterscotch Fudge, Merlins Messy Marshmallow Fudge, Creamy Milk Chocolate Fudge, White Chocolate Cookie Dough Fudge, Salted Dark Chocolate Toffee fudge...

"Chocolate fudge, in particular." He replied, reaching out for a slab of milk chocolate drizzled, creamy fudge.

"Hmm, good choice. Might go for one of those myself..." I picked one up, and then a White Chocolate Cookie Dough Fudge slab and compared the two, as if weighing them out in my hands. I put on a thoughtful face, staring down at them. He laughed to himself.

"Hard choice," he commented, watching me.

"Oh, very."

"Which do you think? White chocolate Cookie dough or Creamy milk Chocolate?" He raised an eyebrow, a sudden grin appearing on his face.

"Hmm..." I thought, shrugging my shoulders, and then, "I'm not good at making decisions. Let's get both." I grinned up at him. Mmm, I could smell the fudge and it made my insides melt. I craved the sugary delight.

A hand snatched my fudge out of my hand.

"Oy!" I shouted, looking up to see that Potter had nicked my fudge and was running off with it. "Potter! Get off, that was my fudge!" I called out after him, jogging to catch up. He was at the till.

"Merlin Potter, I wanted that!" I called, slightly out of breath, "that was my fudge." I pointed down at my slabs eagerly.

He rummaged in his pocket, and brought out a couple coins.

"No worries, Evans, this ones on me." He handed over the coins to the guy at the desk, and hummed as we waited for a receipt.

I watched as the slabs were scanned and wrapped up in a tiny cream bag, tied securely with a ribbon. How my heart soared whenever I received a gift looking like that...

"Potter, you are a right pain in the arse, do you know that?"

"Well, now that you mention it..." He turned to me, as my face blushed red and I grabbed my fudge up from the till, and joined the rest of the Gryffindors by the door, patiently waiting.

"Took your time there, Prongs," Peter shouted, as he opened the door and we all went outside, surprised by a sudden rainfall. I sent him a smile, pocketing my fudge.

I skipped out into the rain, opening my arms to the sky and grinning. The cool droplets soaked me, and my clothes stuck to me like glue. Marly skipped out behind me and we started to spin around and twirl about, laughing and giddy with adrenaline.

Dory and Alice huddled under an umbrella. Peter stayed inside, near Potter who was leaning onto the doorframe, watching. Sirius skipped out and joined us, jumping in the puddles.

"Oi Sirius!" I laughed, as he splashed me. I shook my head at him and we giggled, twirling about.

My arms were shaking because I was so, _so_ cold but I couldn't stop because it was intoxicating; once you started you couldn't stop.

"Oi, Prongs, hurry up!" Padfoot shouted, hair dripping, arms around Peter who was trying to scurry away from him, covering himself with his robes.

Potter grinned and stepped out, immediately showered with raindrops, hair dripping and glasses splattered. You could see the moment he first felt the freezing water hit his skin, his smile dropped a little and his shoulders lifted. It was very cold, yet so refreshing, as if washing your feelings away, washing your troubles away, and your sense and soberness is flicked to the back of your mind, because _no one is watching._ He opened his arms up to the sky, just like I had, and opened his mouth, drinking in the rain. Water trickled down my neck, down my back, under my clothes. I didn't care.

I noticed Dory sending me a look, and I asked, "Dory? You okay?" The others were talking, so I just leant over to her.

"Oh, I'm alright, but what about you? The last time you touched anything that could explode or set anything on fire, it was those awful second years!" she smiled at me knowingly, and I grinned. After the incident, I hadn't gone near anything that could be set alight, I didn't want to be reminded of the embarrassment.

"I'm alright Dory, I don't think these will set my hair alight," I pointed to my hair and chuckled. Dory really was so sweet, checking I was okay with playing cards.

"What second years?" a low voice said, from a sofa next to ours, and I turned to see Potter looking at us, genuinely worried. I winced at the thought of being reminded of the story, and let Dory explain as much as she knew.

When she had finished, Potter was smirking.

"So it wasn't _me_ who got you in such an awful mood," he punched a fist into the air, and Dory laughed and shook her head.

"No...it was some silly second years!" She said, between giggles, and I looked at her oddly. Dory didn't normally giggle. That was weird.

"But Potter you didn't exactly help the situation, did you?" I asked, noticing that Sirius was now listening in as well.

"Well no, but how was I supposed to know you had just been bullied by two second years?" He retorted, shooting me a competitive look. Sirius eyed me, before saying himself, "Ah, I heard about this, on the platform right? Just before we saw you?" I nodded and thought back.

It was true, Potter and Black hadn't and couldn't have known about what happened on the platform, but they were still annoying. I blew out me cheeks, crossed my arms and leant back into the sofa. I refused to let them get this one over me.

"Fine, you didn't know, but a witch should be able to carry her own trunk without a wizard trying to take it off of her. I was perfectly capable to take it to my compartment by myself, thank you very much. "

And then I turned to Remus, and asked him whether he liked fudge, before digging out my own fudge and opening it to offer him some. But as I opened the wrapping, I noticed my fudge was engraved with something...

I shook my head in disbelief and continued to open my chocolate fudge, except that it wasn't a plain slab anymore. There, carved right in the middle, was a flower.

It was a Lily, I realised. A Lily, like the ones up on my bedside table. And I wondered how he had managed to do that? I had been there, watching him pay for it, grabbed them off the till and ran out into the rain. The glorious rain, where I spun and lost myself for a couple minutes. He hadn't taken it then. I remember the feeling of it in my pocket. So when had he done it?

"Urm, Lily? " Remus coughed and brought me back. I had been staring at my fudge for far too long. I shook my head in disbelief, unable to speak. The game had been forgotten by everyone else as well.

This Lily was like all the others. Exactly like last years. And the year before. And the year before that. How odd that I'd never mentioned it, and just thought it was Sirius playing a joke on me, and all those times I had confronted him, and he had denied doing it. And Sirius never denies his jokes, for he was proud of them, he enjoyed the glory too much to deny it. He had always denied doing it, and I never believed him. Because who else would have done it? I wasn't friendly with any of the other Marauders, and non of my friends would, it just wasn't like them.

And after all this time, it had been _him?_ Why? It just hadn't clicked before, when I had received the Lilies last night. I was too tired, too tired to realise what was staring me in the face! And I had been the one to bring up flowers as well, and he had planned on sending them again this year, but I made it so obvious and he sent them to me the evening before instead.

And why was it that only _now_ have I realised? A silly little fudge Lily, when last night it had been the real things, real Lilies. Oh Merlin, I was losing it, well and truly losing it.

And thinking back now, I must have sat there, gaping at him for about five whole minutes, catching eye contact once. It was the first time I truly _looked_ at him, y'know?

I looked, as he laughed with Sirius and Peter, how he was waiting patiently for the game to start, leaning back in the sofa, arms crossed, shoe-less feet flat against the carpet. His jaw sharp, eyes blazing, mouth formed that all-knowing smile. He looked at me, my mouth open, face shocked and eyes wide, and his smile slid, and formed into a concerned frown. I looked down at my fudge, briefly, and looked back up to see his reaction. And, as expected, his eyebrows raised, mouth smiled reassuringly and the corners of his eyes crinkled.

A genuine, caring smile.

And even though I was a good distance away from him, I knew it was him.

— _Potions_ —

One of my favourite lessons, Potions. The dark, eery dungeons were lit by candles, casting shadows across the brick walls. The room smelt damp.

Cauldrons were placed on each desk, one between two. Today, it was a partnered practical lesson.

"Morning," Slughorn called as we took our seats. He sent a knowing smile my way, before standing up before us all.

"Today we will be brewing the Shrinking solution," he beamed round at us all proudly, before stepping over to the desk at the front where a small, bottle-green flask was standing.

"You have all come across this particular solution before, I am sure, as you will remember from your third year exams, you had an exceptionally nasty question on the fatal results if this potion is brewed incorrectly." Murmurs snaked round the class, and I nodded. I remembered that question clearly because that was the one Mar had moaned about _all_ _summer_.

"Although I expect most of you to be able to brew this quite accurately, you will be working in pairs. Your task today is to not only brew it, but I would like you to write up a more detailed, more accurate recipe, which will help you in the future. Let me tell you now, you will certainly make many dangerous potions today, so please don't try and touch it or eat it." He spoke carefully, looking each and every one of us in the eye.

He began pairing us off. I waited patiently as Marlene, Dory and Alice were all paired off and I was left. I knew Slughorn well. It was clear what he was going to do.

"Lily, you and Severus can go off over into that corner. I'm sure you will work well together as usual. Penelope and..."

A couple years ago, I would have been delighted. Paired with Sev for potions? Any day! We worked well and both had a natural love for the subject. Had it been second or third year, I'm sure I would have been marvelling at my luck.

But it wasn't. It was sixth year and I was paired with Severus. Or really, I should call him Snape, we are not on a first name basis anymore.

I gloomily made my way over to the corner desk, catching eyes with one particular individual. Potter stared at me with a clenched jaw and dark, dark eyes. I shivered.

I broke away from his eyes and concentrated on the task ahead.

1\. Juice two Shrivelfigs and add their ruby blood to your cauldron.

2\. Stir slowly.

3\. Gently heat your potion.

4\. Chop four daisy roots more finely and add to cauldron.

5\. Add five hairy caterpillars.

6\. Add well-shaken wormwood.

7\. Stir vigourously.

8\. Juice four leeches and add.

9\. Stir slowly and with caution.

10\. Shake rat spleen and add to cauldron.

11\. Add a splash of cowbane.

12\. Stir slowly.

13\. Heat on a high temperature.

14\. Wave wand in a particular figure (pg 574)

I had a lot to do.

— _A little later on—_

I played Gobstones with Sirius and Peter that evening. Remus was home, looking after his mother, and Potter had gone off after Potions by himself. Both Sirius and Peter were distracted, and they both kept glancing over at the Portrait Hole every time it opened.

"You two alright?" I asked, but they just nodded, and Peter took his time throwing his next Gobstone. Sirius was winning, and both Peter and I had suffered from large amounts of the dreadful smelling liquid that covers you when you lose; I was in desperate need for a shower.

Whilst Peter was taking his turn, Sirius and I continued to work on our newest handshake. Believe it or not, he had forgotten our last one, and we needed a new one to piss Potter off.

"No, Sirius," I moaned when he fist bumped me with the left hand, "the other hand!" We started again:

Left hand high five, but don't let go, pull together, hip bump, left legs in, our toes touching in the middle, right fist bump, jazz hands out, three jumps back into a full body jump. _Ooof_.

Sirius pulled faces the whole time, being the joker he is. The sort of person who makes every movement dramatic, and the whole 'hand'shake was rather good. Apparently, the first time we had created one, Potter had moaned during the whole of Defence to Sirius about it. Sirius and I spent the whole evening in fits of giggles laughing about it, ending up with us creating more and more, my all-time favourite being the one where I get on his shoulders at the end and we whizz about the room, whilst Peter throws glitter over us.

"Oi, Peter, it's time." Sirius suddenly said, bringing me out of my daydream, he was looking at Peter with wide eyes, as if relaying a secret message, and Peter nodded.

"Ah, sorry Lils. We arranged to go..to go revise now." Peters voice quavered a bit, and he got up and started packing his Gobstone set away. Suspicious, the Marauders never revised. And a test _after_ the exams? _Really_?

Sirius nodded his head in agreement, getting up and stretching his arms wide above his head and yawning dramatically.

"In fact, Prongs should be up soon as well, " Sirius added, as if making a point, and checked his watch.

"Night Lily," Peter said, before leaving up the dorm staircase with Sirius at his heels, who shouted back a quick, "See ya, Lils." It was a quick escape, and I didn't believe the 'revising' story one bit, but I _really_ needed a hot shower, and Potter was due as well, I really didn't want to speak to him either, so I went upstairs to our dorm and undressed, making my way towards the bathroom.

The relaxing feeling of water tumbling down my back, washing that awful smell off of me, wasted away a whole hour, and I paid special attention to washing all of the sticky substance out of my hair, instead lavishing it with the last drops of my favourite Stawberry Fields scented shampoo (I really needed to get mother to send some more), of which I had bought the year before with Sirius and Dory when we went into Muggle London, and I showed them around Harrods. We had shown Sirius his first ever Leather Jacket as well, the start of his jacket phase. Now, you would never see him without one. They was dark and gothic, but it suited him perfectly, and it was what made Sirius Sirius.

It was his first time seeing cars and motorbikes as well, and he forced poor Dory and I to go bike shopping with him. He very nearly bought one, and I think he seriously plans on going back in the future to buy it. It makes me laugh thinking about how his face lights up whenever someone mentions it, and I always see him reading Bike magazines, and I make sure that whenever I see one, I give it to him.

I turned the water off, and joined the rest of my Dorm members with the usual scavenger hunt. It was a full moon, and the glistening light shone through the windows, lighting up the scene in front of me; clothes were thrown from bed to bed, missing socks were desperately searched for, and spare quills and parchment were chucked into the middle of the room. Alice, being the clumsiest, was searching desperately for her hairbrush, whilst Mary, who was always organised, was ready for bed, and had resulted to lying in bed reading one of her old muggle novels.

"So," Marley started, from where she was sitting on the floor in front of a rather large pile of washing, "Fraser shared the details on the party."

Mary looked up. "Party?" She questioned, and I too raised my eyebrows at the word.

Sorry, a party? I don't think the message quite got to me.

"Fraser?" Emma repeated whilst tossing a handful of papers into the bin.

"Seventh year, Slytherin," she answered looking up at us like this was common knowledge, "I must have told you about him?" I shook my head. Nope, there was a Michael and a Borris, but Fraser certainly didn't ring a bell.

"Save that for another day, what's the party about?" Mary impatiently motioned for her to carry on.

"Yeah, some after-party for the end of year. Loads of boys and booze," she winked at me in particular, the known celibate spinster in the dorm.

It's not like I am all anti-boys. Boys are fine. Boys are great, in fact boys are _Gods_ when you have had enough of female bitchy-ness. However it has been a _significantly_ long time since I have involved myself in any relationship of sort. Or a hookup.

Sure, I have dated in the past, and some lovely chaps at that, but not for a while have I really 'got myself out there' as Mar puts it. Apparently, if I wait any longer my 'boobs will sag' before I have another relationship at the rate I am going, according to Marley. I'm a 'lost cause just waiting for Prince Charming to come wipe me off my feet when I should be going out and socialising with the opposite gender.' Marley feels very strongly about this, as you can see.

I have many friends that are boys, many are my closest. Take Sirius or Remus or Liam for example. I wouldn't survive without them, yet apparently I don't socialise with other boys, potentially one I have some sort of crush-like interest in. Which is how Marley started her "we will go to EVERY party" campaign to "get me out there."

Not only does this mean I am _forced_ to spend my evening holding back her hair whilst she retches into the loo, but she also decided that _she_ would be the one to chose my outfits. So far I have had to attempt to dance in one of her dangerously short mini skirts and cropped hardly-there tops, I have worn a tutu (yes, a ballerina tutu) and a leotard and on the first night of Halloween I was a dinosaur (onesies are not something I would recommend as a party outfit, coming from an expert), and then at the second party- the Hufflepuffs do go crazy when it comes to Halloween- I was a Veela and dressed in the highest, most glittery heals you can imagine, then triple the height.

My feet never recovered.

"And what did Fraser actually tell you about this party?"

"Well, a couple doors down from their common room, there is a large study room, specifically designed with alcoves and arches. It's quite large, I've heard, big enough for a party and drinks."

She nods worryingly enthusiastically.

"Right, and when is it?" I ask dubiously.

"Saturday night," I groaned internally. I had no excuse. Marley knew my rounds were on a Thursday, so she would force me to go. Not even homework could get me out of this. "Perfect for Lil as she definitely does not have rounds that night." She adds, just to prove.

Mary and Dory giggled and I closed my eyes.

Parties are good. Parties are great and as an adolescent, I should be looking forward to it. But of course, I was not. In fact, the only thing I was looking forward to was my charms lesson the next day, in which we were having a practical lesson.

Yay, a party of heavy drinking and even heavier music.

"Don't look too excited, Lil," Dory comforts. She loves a party, and especially because she is on the Quiditch team, she could get with loads of blokes in one night, then be assured they wouldn't remember in the morning. That never seemed the case with me.

"I don't think I will go," I mutter.

"Huh?" Emma grunts.

"Sorry Lil, what was that?"

"I think I'm busy that day."

"Busy?"

"What else could _you_ possibly be doing on a Saturday night?"

I think hard. Planned disease? Date with Satan? Spontaneous counselling?

"My great-aunts turtle just died."

"Merlin that sounds dreadful! How did that happen," Marley quips.

"It was a tragic death, I would rather not talk about it."

"Ah, of course. Well, have a good night grieving Lil," and the lights were switched off and all to be heard was the restrained giggle coming from Dory's bed.


	2. A little bit of bonding

_AN: I'm so so so sorry for the long wait! I've been so busy, I went away on holiday and rested and got a glamorous tan (yay) and now am back and reading and working! But I promised I would have it up by the end of the week, and with less than 3 hours left of the week, IT'S UP :)_

 _Thank you to everyone who read, specifically HIDAANCE895, InvisabiltyOn, Sofly170 and martk5337, (I hope I spelt everything okay) for favourites and follows, it means more than the world._

* * *

Our words and minds so often don't align- anon

* * *

— _The next day_ —

Breakfast the next morning was uneventful. Without the quiditch team about, Marly, Emma and I were able to eat at our own pace at peace.

That was, until, one Sirius Black should arrive. A _moody_ , Sirius Black.

He stalked towards us, dragging his feet behind him, a storm whirling in his eyes.

"Morning Black," Marly called, patting his shoulder as he sat, or rather collapsed, into the space next to her.

A grunt.

"Alright?" I asked, handing over the coffee as he sure looked like he could use some. I filled up his mug.

Another grunt. He lifted his coffee to his mouth and downed it in one.

"Sure?" Emma added, her face full of concern as it often did.

Sirius slammed the mug down onto the table, cracking it in half.

Sirius was not happy.

"Is everything alright, Sirius?" I asked in what I hoped was a soothing voice, the voice I used with Tuney when she got mad.

"Yep," he snarled, pulling a terrifying face and running a hand through his long hair tentatively.

I nodded my head slowly. Clearly, the boy wasn't alright.

Sirius was rarely angry or moody. He was infectiously humorous, and always knew the right thing to say. I guess that's how we met, back in first year, in the middle of the night. I had received a particularly nasty letter from Tuney and had gone to the common room in the mind to not wake anyone up. Had I known that Sirius Black would be wandering about at that time in the night, I wouldn't have gone to the fireplace and burst into tears.

I was heartbroken. My darling Tuney had torn me to shreds. My sister, whom I had played, sung, laughed and cried with throughout my childhood, had just practically disowned me. She didn't want to see me or my 'freakish ways.' She no longer cared, and it hurt.

But my problems were flakes of dust compared to Sirius'.

"I am a disappointment," he had said with a wide grin, "my mother told me to be ashamed."

I had stared at him as he handed me a tissue to wipe away the salty trails. He just grinned wider as if we weren't talking about how his mother was let down by him.

"'A noble Black in Gryffindor?', she sent me a howler," he had imitated with a high pitched shriek like a fork scraping china plates. "That was the last letter I ever received from her."

I pulled a sympathetic face, before he widened his eyes at me. "No no, that was the last letter she ever sent, thank Merlin!" And he had taken the letter from my hands and thrown it into the fire place. I sat and watched as the slender font twisted and writhed under the amber flames.

And I look at the boy sitting at the breakfast table now, and I wonder how he manages it all.

The class joker, prankster and clown. Hogwarts' very own John Travolta. Marauder, top of the class know-it-all and disowned by his family. He moved out some time last year, and now lives with the Potters. The poor sod has it all going on.

Marly looked back at me and I shrugged.

"Is anyone going to that Herbology workshop?" I asked. Although I didn't take the class, McGonagall had recommended we all go to an upcoming Herbology event. It was open to sixth and seven years, and was to be lead by Professor Spout, head of Hufflepuff and plant enthusiast.

"I wasn't sure, but if you go, I will," Marly replied, and I nodded. I secretly missed Herbology. Working with plants and mysterious substances was definitely something I had enjoyed. It was a shame that I had had to drop the subject.

"Sprout already knows I'm going," Em, the only one out of our dorm taking Herbology, piped in.

"Going where?"

I started at the voice. Sirius Black had come alone, and now his mates joined us. Remus, Potter and Peter sat down noisily, scraping benches and ruffling up poor Sirius' hair.

"Herbology workshop," I answered, downing my drink.

"The one McGonagall was on about?"

"Yep."

"What's it about?"

"Potter, we haven't gone yet, so we couldn't tell you," I rolled my eyes. He may be top of the class, but the prat was thick.

"Expected you to be able to tell the future, Evans," he answered back smartly.

"Expect all you want, but be prepared for disappointment." I retorted, with double the amount of arrogance and half the care.

"You could never disappoint me."

I turned to him. "Don't deny it," I stared.

He stuck his hands in the air in surrender. "Ah, shit, you caught me. Lying has never been my forte."

"Hardy ha ha. As if I'm going to believe that, James Potter." I smacked his arm lightly. The little bugger! The whole school knew he could lie with his eyes shut, riding a unicycle backwards and juggling fire.

"You always have been gullible."

I huffed. "I wouldn't call it gullible, more...trusting." I tried to forget the amount of times Marly had convinced me I was missing a Potions study session or Charms club, and how I had ran to the library with flowers after she told me Pince was seen crying there.

"Pffft, trusting? Are you kidding?" Marly joined, sending me a look of madness, "Lily, just last week you went to Dumbledore's office asking for Charms club to be reintroduced after I told you he thought it was a waste of time!"

Potter burst out laughing, clapping his hands in delight.

"Don't remind me, Mar," I muttered. But I don't think she heard, she was too busy cackling.

— _Greenhouse three_ –

The workshop was half theory, half practical. We sat in rows, notebooks open and making notes on the dangers, advantages and history of Fanged Geranium, a nasty flower with sharp fangs, and then we would use our new-found knowledge to do the practical. The idea was to replant them, and cut off the fangs for Potions and collect them, wash them and check them over without getting bitten.

We worked in pairs, and I was paired up with Peter, who came and sat down joyfully next to me. Together, we went and grabbed three potted flowers, bringing them back to our desk.

"So, what's the best way to do this then?" he asked, looking warily down at the flowers, and they did look menacing, lots of fangs and not enough petal.

"I guess we repot them first, so they are looked after, water them and then grab." I said, checking with my notes, which said that this method should work with most, some being slightly _livelier_ then others.

Peter went off for new pots and soil, whilst I started digging around the first flowers base. I didn't know Peter that well, only that he was slightly less confident and less bright than the other Marauders. He always seemed to be the one Potter was helping in the Common room, normally explaining spells. He wasn't as brave either, he looked rather scared by the flowers, and had a less arrogant walk and posture about him. He arrived back just in time, I had completely dug out the flower, before shoving it into it's new pot, pulling my hands away quickly as it bent down to see what was going on, fangs bared.

"Aguamenti," I said, picking up my wand and carefully watering the plant from what I believed was a safe distance, as Peter slipped on the safety gloves, handing me a pair.

I put them on, then advanced on the plant, eyeing the fangs, which were in the middle of the pretty pink flowers petals, where the pollen should be.

One hand crept up, holding the base of the plant steadily, before the other reached in and tugged at the nearest fang, which didn't budge.

"Knife! Peter quick," I exclaimed as the flower started wriggling, and I grabbed the knife from Peters hand and made quick work of cutting the fang out of the flower. It dripped from the bottom a green sticky liquid, which we would later clean up, but first we were going to cut all the fangs off, before setting the flower away on the front desk for Sprout to examine.

"Gross, the green stuff is viscid." Peter whined, from where he was cleaning the fangs off and checking for scratches or holes. He had a large gloop of the stuff on his chin, and he was trying to wipe it off, but it was stubborn. I reached over with a tissue and started rubbing at his chin, but the gloop just stuck onto the tissue, so when I pulled away it was like green, stringy melted cheese.

"Is it coming off?" Eyes wide, hands fiddling, Peter asked the question. But of course it wasn't, it had somehow managed to get all over my hands, and now Peter and I were stuck together. Joyous.

"Wormy, Evans. You two seem to be getting pretty close!" The obnoxious voice of Potter managed to call out, and I turned my head to see him striding over, flower in hand.

"Ha, ha, ha, Potter. I think you'll find that actually _the gloop from the fangs_ has stuck us together." I stuck my tongue out as he got closer, watching us humorously.

"I see." He came closer, trying himself to pull my hand off Peters chin. But like before, he seemed, like the rest of us, unable to do so.

"Potter!" Sprout called, waddling over, "Potter, step away immediately!" Potter did as he was told for once. Sprout came round, assessing the situation. "My, my, what has happened here? Did I not mention the superglue-like properties of the flowers sap?" She pulled gently at my hand, tutting.

"Potter, love, take them to Pomfrey. Ought to be done properly." And she walked off, leaving us in the dangerous hands of James Potter.

"Of we go then, this way," he guided us out of the room.

It is difficult to walk when stuck to someone else, especially when Peter is whimpering and chatting to Potter the whole time.

"...but then Lily tried to wipe it off me, without knowing it would get stuck all over her and stick us together." He finished the story of how the disaster had started, as we began climbing up the steps towards the castle. It is a long walk when you are stuck to another person.

And then the inevitable happened. Peter and I trying to walk up steps, stuck together, my hand to his chin, when of course I managed to fall. I must have tripped over a step, Peter coming down with me and he unfortunately had to fall down the steps, bringing me with him.

We tumbled all the way back down the old wooden steps, and down the jutting rocks from the hill, crying of laughter and pain at the same time. When finally we stopped rolling, we tried getting up, unsuccessfully. I ached everywhere, and my head pounded. I was looking up to the sky, eyes shut, but felt a shadow fall across in front of me, and opened up to see Potter leaning over me, on his hands and knees, hand behind my head where it hurt. Ouch.

"Lily?" he said, leaning down to see if my eyes were open, and I shut them. The sun was right in my eyes. It was also strange, the way he said my name. My first name, not my last name, and it was almost like he actually cared.

He tried pulling me up to a sitting position, which was difficult as my hand was still attached to Peters chin. I tried turning to see if he was okay, but instead managed to cause an indescribable pain in my shoulder.

"Fuck," I said, without realising, and I felt Potters hand shift, this time pushing me up, so that he could get to Peter as well.

"Wormy? You alright mate?" He said, looking over at Peter, but hands still on my back, keeping me upright. Peter grunted, lying to my right, my hand still on his chin, poor thing.

"Well, haven't we got ourselves into a right pickle. Might have to carry you both up," his voice wandered off, as he thought about it. I sighed, trying to get up, but I couldn't, was too dizzy. A moments silence later, Potter spoke up.

"Right, here's the plan," Potter started, "unfortunately Peter will have to be levitated up, whilst I carry Lily, because I have levitated Peter hundreds of times." He picked up his wand, and silently levitated Peter, before placing his wand between his teeth. With Peter safely in the air (my hand was pulled up as he was lifted), Potter started picking me up, one hand under my legs and the other on my back. My eyes opened once in his arms. It was odd being this close to him, I could see how his jaw ticked and his eyes kept watchful supervision over Peter.

"'Hope I'm not heavy," I managed to get out, whispy and rough, before leaning my head back.

"NofingIcantmanage," Potter replied, and I grabbed his wand out his mouth so he could speak properly, and he smiled at me.

"Thanks."

I fingered his wand, it was long and pliable, a comfortable grip. As Potter kept walking, Peter followed.

We finally reached the Hospital Wing, which was thankfully empty. The empty cots awaited us, and Madam Pomfrey was wiping down a table as we walked in.

"Dear Merlin! What happened here?" She asked, coming over to take Peter to a cot, and Potter laid me down into a cot next to his, my hand still on Peters chin. It was comfy, and I would have fallen asleep if I was allowed.

"Fanged Geranium gloop stuck them together during the Herbology workshop. Then on the way here, they tripped down the steps and managed to fall all the way to the Greenhouses. Quite a show." Potter explained playfully and he sat down on the side of my cot, near where Madam Pomfrey stood.

"Well, well, well! Looks like a couple shattered bones and bruises, maybe a shoulder injury in her case..." She sent me a look, and I closed my eyes. My head just _hurt_. I turned to my side, where Potter was seated, and curled up. If only I could sleep, maybe I would wake up and it would all be a dream...

"Lils? Don't fall asleep?" Hush. Sleep was nice, darkness was comfortable and it meant I couldn't think; I was far too focused on that bright light where the sun had been a couple minutes before. It glimmered and sparkled...

"Lily, come on, wake up. Pomfrey wants to check your shoulder!" A soft voice was whispering into my ear, and maybe I should get up. But it was just so comfy and warm, and my head didn't hurt as much and..

"Hey, Lils, look. Once Pomfrey checks you, you can sleep. She's done Peter, it's your turn." Ugh. Fine, lets get the damage checked. I opened my eyes, and was overwhelmed when the sun changed into Potter, face in mine, eyes looking down with a half-smile. His hand was stroking mine, which, Merlin! It was finally free of Peters chin! Finally! It felt odd, it was a little numb and the feeling of Potters on mine was comforting, but irrelevant and completely inessential.

"Lily! You came around," he turned his head and spoke again, "she's up." And I heard Pomfreys _click-click_ of her shoes as she came, leaning over to see for herself. She prodded at my shoulder, felt about my head and legs, before rolling up my sleeves and examining my arms. She waved her wand over different parts of my body, before examining a sort of x-ray.

"Broken collar bone, for definite. Completely shattered! Merlin, Miss Evans, and your hand will feel numb for a couple days. You got it really stuck on Mr Pettigrews chin." She carried on flicking through them, zooming in and tutting.

"Couple bones slightly broken in your left leg, and you have a large bump on your head." She flicked back, examining for one last time before turning back and starting on my leg, propping it up on a pillow and retreating into a cupboard for supplies.

"Merlin, Lily. Who knew you could be such a clutz?" Potter grinned down, and I attempted smiling back, but it must have looked pretty scary, my teeth baring, cheeks not fully lifting, eyes only slightly open, because Potter just chuckled before pushing back my hair which had been falling in front of my face in my attempt.

"...we can get your leg in a cast and your arm in a sling, no point using magic with you, too broken and too much risk," Pomfrey came out of the cupboard muttering to herself, holding rolls of bandages and slings and potions. She started by washing my leg, using her wand to dry it, then began on a cast. She used this cream coloured liquid and bandages, wrapping them around my leg like paper mache. She finished by wrapping a blue material around it, which was hard and the outer layer. By the end, my left leg was completely covered up to just above the knee. I couldn't bend and it was really itchy.

"You mustn't get this wet, Lily. The blue layer will keep the rest from peeling, and I will probably need to re-bandage it a couple times more." She started towards my shoulder, "you don't mind if I undo these top two buttons?" She questioned, which I just shook my head, and she advanced by undoing the top two buttons, revealing my battered skin underneath.

Pomfrey undid the top two buttons of my shirt, revealing the purple skin underneath. It looked so mangled, and I tried to ignore the pain. Pomfrey started by dabbing it with a potion, casting a spell, before carefully placing my arm in a sling, adjusting the knot at the back.

"Unfortunately, your shoulder is shattered really quite badly, the bruising and swelling stops me from examining the bone properly, and it's too much risk for me to try healing with a charm. I have applied potions that should stop the pain, but the healing could take weeks. Until the bruising goes down, I can't do much with magic." She looked at me apologetically, before placing an ice pack behind my head and charming the bump there.

"For now, you will have to stay hear overnight, you may be released tomorrow depending on how you feel." She leant back, busying herself with the spare bandages and sighing, "James, you can stay for a bit, but let Miss Evans get her sleep please. You can bring her work tomorrow." And then she left, through the door into her office. I turned to look at Peter, who was fast asleep.

"First name basis with the Matron, Potter? How did that come about?" I turned to look up at him, grinning cheekily.

"Of course. There have been a couple injuries here and there in the past." He said lightly.

"Couple injuries? Your not fooling anyone. Every time I come in here, one of you boys is here. The lot of you have broken more bones than I have in my body!" I grinned, and Potter mirrored me.

"Makes life interesting," he commented, looking around at the empty room. And I chuckled, then sighed.

"Guess that means I'm missing the rest of the day, and probably tomorrow," and I bit my cheek.

Missing work was definitely not what I needed right now. Sure, exams were over, but all the work we were doing would still be tested on in our NEWTs, and Potions was difficult to catchup on, never mind Transfiguration which I do terribly in anyway.

"I'll make sure Marly and the rest of them come up with some books or something, and I'm sure the boys will come up as well." He looked back at Peter, still sleeping, and shook his head. "Just means you'll be spending lots of time with me!" And he winked at me and smiled, as mine disappeared.

"You don't think I'll be missing most of this term, do you?" I asked, the thought suddenly coming. What if I didn't recover? What if my bones don't repair and I am here all week? What if I don't get back into lessons before the summer holidays!" All the work I would miss!

"If the bruising goes down, you could be out tomorrow," Potter added just in time. My smile brightened, before turning my head to look down at my foot, "however if it doesn't, you could be here until it does so that Pomfrey can perform magic on it."

"Let's hope I can stop the bruising. My head is certainly feeling better, and my shoulder doesn't hurt as much when I move. What happened with Peter?" Looking at the boy in question.

Potter sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets.

"Bruised his jaw, broke a finger and a couple ribs. He also has severe bruises all over his body, and has a similar large bump on his head as you do." And I smiled but still looked at him sleeping. His mouth was slightly open, and he was snoring quietly.

Why was I so clumsy? No one else would trip over thin air and fall all the way down the rickety wooden steps and over the rocks that led to the lower gardens.

"I feel so bad, if only my feet hadn't tripped over themselves..." I dawdled off, looking at my feet and shaking my head in disappointment. The useless things could hardly keep me stable, never mind when I am attached to someone.

"It's alright, I think he will be happy to miss Transfiguration." He smiled. "He really would be quite excited to miss lessons. It's not your fault. Stuff like this happens all the time." And he got up, a steady hand sweeping through his unruly hair.

"I'll go now, let you sleep. But I'll be back soon with some books or work," he had stood up, awkwardly shuffling towards the door, and flashed me his trademark grin and comment, "don't miss me too much."

Which was silly of him to say because I never _really_ miss him. Every time he left he would say that, and every time I wouldn't miss him, which was a shame really for him because we always ended up seeing more of each other the more we talk. He wasn't as bad as I thought. Sure, he had his moments, especially around Sev, but he wasn't that bad with the boys or Marly.

We were lucky he had been able to bring us here as well, otherwise we would have still been lying by the greenhouses, probably unconscious without the likelihood of being found til lessons end.

"Wait," I called out, " before you go," he turned, one brow raised. I blushed deeply, not quite meeting his eye. "Thanks. Thank you for helping us. We probably would still be lying there if you hadn't brought us." And he stared at me. I attempted a smile, but instead I withered under his stare, it was piercing through me, oddly cleansing.

"Nah, it's all I could do." And he waved, before leaving me alone with my own thoughts.

The rest of the day was spent sleeping and not doing much, and I was determined for the bruising and swelling on my leg to go down. Pomfrey kept checking up on me, kept on dabbing me with potions and giving me different sleeping pills, replacing the ice pack behind my head. She did the same to Peter, although he slept for the whole time.

Marly and the Marauders came up during dinner, bringing with them the work I had missed, some of my books and many bags of sweets.

"Lily!" Marly shouted, running into the room, towards me, waving books over her head and giving me a hug. "Lil, ah, we have been so worried." She unwrapped her arms from around my neck, checking over the bed sheets and re-tucking me in to her satisfaction. "We brought supplies!"

Ahhh finally! One could only sleep so much before getting left with their own thoughts, and although it was bearable at first, after a couple hours I was sort of scaring myself with all the possibilities regarding my new injuries.

"Lils, how are you?" Remus strode in calmly with Sirius and Potter, hands in pockets, a couple bits of parchment under his arm. I grinned up at them all, I was so done with sleeping, I really needed some entertainment. And who better than the trusty Marauders?

"Thank Merlin you came. Peter has been asleep all day, and I am so bored. Please, entertain me." I said, attempting to sit up with the help of Potter, who sat back where he had in the morning, right next to me, slouched and smirking.

"Just came to make sure your still alive," Sirius commented, pulling up a chair and sitting next to the bed. I grinned up and took the books people were handing me; there was Charms and Potions and a book on Aurors and even one to two muggle books from my trunk.

"Merlin, these all look like gold after the morning I have had," I started flicking through one of the Charms books I had recently taken out from the library, 'Dr Cruickshanks' guide to impeccable charms.'

 _Dr Cruickshank, charms creator, tester and professor has finally printed her complete guide to the art of charms after consistent demand. After devoting fifty years to the subject, Dr Cruickshank went on to work with the Minister of Magic to help advance the research and security around the globe. She has worked in over thirty countries, developing and producing successful programs to enhance and increase the study of charms and hexes, including the internationally known, 'Cruickshank Charm College for Students,' located in Bristol..._

A pat on my back brought me back into the moment.

"You and your charms," Remus smiled, standing on my other side looking down at me, as Sirius, Potter and Marly chatted away about something or other. I blushed, caught red handed.

"Well..." But I was cut off by Sirius, who was waving a bulking Honeydukes bag of sweets in front of me.

"No fudge, I'm afraid, but there is Every flavour beans and toffee!" He said, and I took the bag and opened up to find a couple boxes of beans, and some loose Too-Sweet-for-you honey coloured toffee. I handed out boxes, watching as Remus picked out a pale blue one and his face winced as he ate it.

"Soap," he moaned, reaching for a toffee to take the taste away. Marly picked out a yellow one that was banana, Sirius got sausage and Potter got Marshmallow. Eventually the box came back and I carefully picked out a safe looking pink bean, popping it in my mouth.

I had expected candy floss, or strawberry, but to my surprise, was instead greeted by the _pleasant_ taste of baby wipes, leaving a bitter taste in my mouth that I needed to get rid of. Like Remus, I quickly grabbed a toffee, and relieved myself with the sweet taste of sticky toffee.

"Not bubblegum then?" And I jumped at the sound, turning to see Potter chuckling at my frantic movements. I shook my head, blushing.

"No, just the lovely taste of Baby wipes instead," and he winced at the sound of it, and I nodded in appreciation.

"Let me get you a drink," and without another word he wandered off into a cupboard, coming out with a glass of water and handing it to me.

"Where did you get that from?" I asked as he handed the glass to me, "thanks," and I took a long gulp of the heavenly water, swallowing down the awful mixture of baby wipes and toffee with it.

"You get to know your way around here when you spend as much time as we do around this place," and he jerked a thumb at Sirius and Remus, who were in conversation with Marly now.

"Great to know. Not much is kept secret with you guys around." Poor Pomfrey, having to deal with the Marauders so much. The lot of them together were about as easy to control as a pack of giggling hyenas.

"Not much, no." And he grinned, looking at me with wide hazel eyes, before getting up and digging through his bag, bringing out a piece of parchment with him.

"Thought you could just skim through this Charms for me? Flitwick would really appreciate it." And he handed it to me, and I looked through. A short essay on fire-making spells. His shanty scribble filled the page. It was a nice easy read, informative yet brief, polite yet to-the-point. It was mostly correct, written out clearly, except for the Latin definition.

"Here, the Latin translation, where the spells incantation came from. In Latin, incendio is the dative or ablative singular of incendium, "fire", and can mean "to fire", "by fire" or "with fire". You wrote that it just means flames, but it's not. The incantation is a way of calling upon fire to burn a desired object, since the spell caster wills harm to be done to an object "by fire."" I looked back up at him, but he wasn't looking at where I was pointing, just at me, and oddly.

"Potter? Do you hear me?" And I shook the paper in front of his face, and his eyes blinked owlishly behind his glasses.

"Right. Of course." He said, blushing slightly and he took the essay out of my hand, correcting his answer. I watched him, as he took out a short quill, and quickly corrected his work. He was right handed, like most, and bit his lip in concentration, jaw clenched. When he was finished he looked back up, and I quickly looked away hoping he hadn't seen me watching. I felt myself blush, busying myself by adjusting my sling.

"Miss Evans! How many visitors does one need to keep you company?" Madam Pomfrey strolled over, taking over the job and perfecting my sling. She eyed the glass of water and the bag of sweets being passed around.

"Madam Pomfrey!" Sirius swooned. "Just keeping poor Lily company," he smirked, before reaching into the bag and unwrapping another toffee, offering it to Pomfrey, who shook her head in disgust, and popping it into his all too eager mouth. Pomfrey kept fussing about me, shooing Potter off the side of the bed and unbuttoning my shirt slightly to look at my collarbone.

"Oh, Lily. I was meant to tell you, McGonagall has started warning us about results," Remus called over, handing some parchment with dates on it. I skimmed down. Results were to be released just before summer, in less then a week.

"Merlin, that came around quick!" I looked about, eyes wide.

"I know. So much for taking it easy." Marly sighed, taking a swig from my glass.

"Five minutes, please. Miss Evans will need her rest, and dinners going to begin soon. Run along now," and Pomfrey waved them off as they all gathered up their stuff. Books, parchment, sweets and wrappers.

Marly came over and gave me a light hug, as did Sirius. Remus and Potter waved to me, collecting all their bags and papers.

"See ya, Boffin!" I rolled my eyes. I was glad to see the back of _him._

When I was finally left in silence, there was much time to think. Results day was soon. One slip of paper which would decide my future. My grades so far had been good enough for me to study all the subjects I love (except Transfiguration, which I only took to balance out my other subjects). In fact, my grades had been beyond good. McGonagall had told me that herself in our meeting. That I had done above and beyond, that I should keep up the hard work, but not forget to get involved as well. That in order to be awarded the role of Head Girl, you had to get involved in extra-curriculum clubs, sports and societies. I hadn't really thought of being Head Girl before that meeting, and until she brought that up I wouldn't have even considered myself to be even near responsible enough for the role. But apparently so.

But did I really want that? Did I want to have that sort of responsibility on my shoulders? Especially after injuring myself and Peter out of clumsiness. I had to be organised, and punctual, which I certainly wasn't. No matter how hard I tried, I was always running late. That was just me.

So I decided to join in more during my free time. I started my 'Witch Which' club and repeatedly led the Charm club discussions each week. I volunteered to do extra rounds if needed, and made sure my work did not slack. It was hard, but I tried. This meant that if, for some unknown reason I was given the offer to be Head Girl or a prefect next year, I could simply refuse if I didn't want to.

A cough brought me back to my current situations. My eyes focused on Snape standing at the end of my bed, dressed in his robes and looking down at his feet.

"Snape." I leant up, frowning at him. What was he doing here?

"Evans," he said without emotion. No concern, no regret, no emotion.

I picked up Dr Cruickshank from the table next to me, finding where I had left off. Whatever Snape had to say, I didn't care.

"Evans," he said again, looking me right in the eye. I put my book on my lap, attempted to cross my arms, failed after realising I had a sling on and retreated back to the uncomfortable slumped position I had been left in.

"Word got around," he muttered, pointing to my arm and other assortment of injuries.

Of course. Why was I surprised? Of course word got around. The disadvantage of being in a small school like Hogwarts. One little bit of drama or exciting news and the rumours spread quick as the tiniest, most contagious bacteria. Everyone knew how I had managed to fall over nothing. How mortifying.

And who else to start the rumours than the hero himself, James Potter? No one else had seen the events take place. No one else had been there to heroically save me from my almost certain death. Who else would have been able to carry me, levitate Peter and control the chaotic, deadly situation than James Potter? The _Saint_.

The whole school probably knew. Potter and his _huge_ ego probably made sure everyone knew exactly what happened and exactly how he 'saved' Peter and me. His mouth was so big, Dumbledore probably knew, for Merlins sake! The boy has probably pre-written a whole bloody article on it. Merlin, I hated him.

"His head is far too big for his own good," Snape said, as if reading my mind. Sometimes I forget just how long he has known me. So much time spent together meant he knew me as well as my dorm. I didn't comment. I refused to speak to him.

"I don't understand how you can stand being around him and his jerk little group of friends."

What?

That one hit me.

Could I stand being around Potter?

Of course not. I never have. Ever since I first laid my eyes on him on my first day, on his untidy mop of choppy hair, scruffy uniform and confident posture. Straight away he set off alarms in my brain. Since then he had been nothing but a nuisance. He was disruptive in lessons, when I tried to learn and make notes. He was a complete maniac in the common room, usually up til unearthly hours at night, making noise and causing havoc, then up before the sun the next morning. It was almost like he didn't sleep.

Why did I always seem to tolerate his presence? Especially recently, he always seemed to be in the right place at the right time. I used to hate being around him, yet I still spend so much time with him. And maybe he wasn't such a pain to be around anymore. Maybe he had just grown up, finally. Maybe he has finally grown into some mature, right-minded guy. Odd, situations changed and so had my tolerance for him.

No. I was not going to speak. I promise myself I will not talk to Snape.

I picked up my book again.

' _Charms will grow on you. The longer you spend with them, surrounded by them, immersing yourself in them and their technique, the more you like them. The more you enjoy them, the more you long to be around them. They will make you hurt, they will make you laugh, they will make you want to see to the end of your life, and they will make you fall in love...'_

I slammed my book down.

This could not be happening. No, this was not possible. I must be dreaming, yes dreaming.

I pinched my arm. A short, sharp pain shot up my arm, lingering at my broken collar bone. Tears welled up in my eyes. The pain, oh the pain.

Deep breaths. I closed my eyes, blocking out Snape standing at the end of my bed, blocking out the rest of Pomfreys' room, blocking out the whirring noise of some machine nearby.

I opened my mouth. No. I closed my mouth.

I will not speak to Snape.

I will not speak to Snape.

I will not speak to Snape.

One drop of salty tear rolled down my cheek. I held my breath. For ten, twenty, thirty seconds...

I choked, my lungs bursting. I bent over. Merlin, breath, Lily, breath.

Far away, a patter of footsteps ran towards me.

The tears came down with the force of a thousand astroids, plummeting down my face and onto the bedsheets. I coughed and coughed and coughed. The air was so dry. Swirls of colour swam behind my eyes, round and round and round. I swayed, one arm reaching out, reaching for something, anything to keep me upright. I opened my eyes to see nothing. Black, black, black nothing. Only the pain, oh the pain. My mouth squeezed shut, tight as possible.

I will _not_ speak to Snape.

— _Sometime later_ —

My eyes fluttered open to find bright lights. Flashing bright light.

"And welcome back, Miss Evans," Pomfrey spoke softly.

My hands reached up to wipe my eyes, but only to be restricted by the sling that held one in place.

Oh yes, that.

I lifted one arm up, and rubbed my eyes to reveal Pomfrey fussing about my leg. My leg in blue plaster and lifted by a pile of cushions.

Oh yes, and that.

My head pounded, and I grudgingly reached over for the glass of water that waited for me on my bedside table. After a gulp of two, my throat felt so much better.

"Lie back down, please," Pomfrey came over, pushing me down and removing my sling from my arm, which fell limp and heavy onto my chest.

I grunted, unable to form much more.

"Yes," Pomfrey started, looking at me apologetically, "unfortunately your throat will feel terribly scratchy for another hour or so. You managed to collapse last night and I had to use some strong stuff to get you back to sleep again." She smiled and ruffled my hair.

I tried once more to form any sort of words, only to grunt again. I sighed.

"Yes, you did collapse." She handed me my water again and I eagerly finished it off. "I have absolutely no idea how. I kicked out the boys and even made sure with Minerva that they were in bed before leaving you to get some rest. You should have been all alone apart from Peter. But he was dead out!" She shrugged, looking at me helplessly as she undid the tight bandage from my collar bone and dabbing potions onto whatever was there. I couldn't feel a thing, so whatever she was doing she could continue doing, as far as I was concerned.

"But I come in here with your dinner," she stops to give me a look, before returning to her potions, "which was a chicken and leek pie, by the way, when I find you limp on your bed, completely unconscious!" She shook her head. I smiled weakly.

"I go away for not even ten minutes and comeback to find my patient strewn across her bed completely faint!" she shook her head in disbelief. "It thought it was only the boys who did that!" And she pointed to Peter.

Oh.

Well, it wasn't my fault!

"Anyway, it's alright now. You slept soundly the whole night. Not a peep from Peter so I was able to get a full nights sleep as well, which is always a bonus." She winked at me, placing my arm back into them sling and reaching behind my head to check the bump.

"Well, it has gone down, which is good." She placed my head back down again, onto a new ice pack which kept my hair a constant bush.

"Now for the big job," and she sighed and went into her stores cupboard, coming back with a role of blue bandage, a bucket of cream goo and the paper mache bandage for my leg.

Using her wand, Pomfrey slowly unwrapped my leg, revealing the purple pattern of bruises adorning my leg. She washed my leg, which felt amazing. After being stuck in the itchy cast for over twelve hours, my foot was red raw and stank. The water was cold and soothing.

"This must feel great, huh?" She began chatting away again, a real pro at the one sided conversation. "It's been a while since I have had to do this the muggle way, but it really is the most effective technique." She grinned up at me, patting my leg dry with a towel. "For a while I studied in London at a muggle hospital, St Mary's, you must have heard of it," I nodded. "I loved it there. Muggle techniques are so creative and well thought out. I even studied some of their medical history. So intriguing, just look at how Penicillin was discovered!"

She took the paper mache and started on the cast.

"So I did a couple courses there, I spent over ten years at that hospital. I loved it there." And she smiled kindly at me, a hint of reminiscence in her eyes. "I worked with the children at first, all the young ones. I was then moved to the other side of the hospital for research, which was great, but I did miss the kids."

My leg had now doubled in size, and tripled in weight. Until the cast dried, I wouldn't have the strength to lift my leg.

"So I asked to move back after a couple years, and dear Merlin I had forgotten how much I loved it there. All the kids are so inspiring and I loved watching them grow." She used a spell to help the cast dry onto my leg.

"No one suspected anything about me being a witch. I didn't use magic out of the flat. It is so fascinating," she picked up the role of blue bandage, "so fascinating how they can do all we do, without the magic. Sure, it was tempting sometimes. Watching a kids face fall when you tell them they sill need to wait a couple months to heal, when magic could heal them in an instant." She clicked her fingers in affect.

The blue was being wrapped round my leg tight enough to cut off blood circulation had the cast not been underneath it.

"Then I got a letter from the Ministry of Magic, asking me to return to the Wizarding world to help improve our research. I worked at St Mungo's for a bit as well, a couple more courses here and there, before Dumbledore reached out to me and I came here." She secured the blue, and propped my leg back up on the pillows.

"And many, many years later I am still here, and hopefully will be for many, many more." She smiled down at me, getting up and tucking me in, filling my glass of water.

"Lunch will be soon. I think you have a few visitors, but for now get some rest, please." And she walked out, dimming the lights.

— _Lunchtime I hope, I'm starving_ —

I could smell something. And it smelt good. My stomach rumbled loudly, and I turned to check if Peter was up. He was stirring.

"Lily," Pomfrey walked in, opening the blinds behind me, letting in a window of sunshine and a view of students on the orchard.

She walked out and came back with a tray.

"Shepards pie with peas," and I eagerly sat up, ready for food. I hadn't been able to eat breakfast because of the potions, so I was positively ravenous.

And Merlins beard did it do me good. The buttery potato was creamy and perfect with the rich meat below. Rather embarrassingly, I must have finished before she came back with Peters'.

"Sorry," I started, my throat feeling so much better after my nap.

"No, don't be. I was hoping you were hungry! If you weren't it would only worry me." Pomfrey said, just as the entrance door opened, revealing Em and Mar.

"Lily!" Em called as she rushed over.

Pomfrey rolled her eyes, "been trying to keep this lot out til after you had eaten."

I received cautious hugs and even a bunch of flowers before the girls sat down.

"-I honestly couldn't believe what I had heard until James came to tell me after he left here yesterday! The amount of utter bull-" Pomfrey raised a brow at Marley's choice of language, "-utter bullcrap I have heard today. Some say you were run over by a flock of centaurs, others say that you tried to kidnap Peter only to injure yourself and the majority, this being my personal favourite, believe that you were put under The Imperius by Potter to have a threesome." She grinned wide at me as if this was all a good thing. Yay, now the whole school thinks I was running away with half the Marauders for a threesome. Great.

"At least they thought you were under someone else's control," Em added sweetly, "not that you actually wanted a threesome."

"That's very true, Em, very true." I thanked her.

"Hmm, well yes they did think that, until I added into the mix that he wouldn't have to use any spell to convince you to go off with him..." she winced, and I smacked her with a pillow.

What great friends I have.

"Marly you didn't!" Em gasped. I sunk back down into my pillow, refusing to look at the beast I once named my best friend.

Oh how I was wrong.

"It was bloody hilarious at the time," she shrugged, still grinning like a madwomen, "Sirius at least found it funny!" She tried desperately.

"Sirius finds anything funny!" I cried out. Oh how she was going to regret this. "Out of everything you could have said, you had to add that I was willing?"

"You're not denying it..."

Oh bloody hell...

"OF COURSE I'M DENYING IT!" I screeched, watching as Peter looked over dubiously.

"Shhh."

"Of course I'm denying it!" I started again, slightly quieter this time, "have I not spent the last five years of my life practically counting down the days til I never have to see that jerk again?"

Mar shrugged.

"Where have you been? Living under a rock?" I asked, completely shocked she hadn't picked up on my complete hatred for the boy.

Had I been imagining all those nights complaining about him and his nasty bullying ways? Had I dreamt all the times I threatened him with my rather excessive and impressive charms knowledge? Had I been hallucinating the eye-opening day I had actually gone after him in fifth year after the incident by the lake? When I called him (and I'm rather proud of this one) an arrogant, bullying toerag?

"I might have noticed something you said..." she trailed and I gave her a good Evans-devil glare. "Okay, fine, maybe I recall something you said a while ago about 'tearing all his goddam hair out and then skinning him alive'."

"Lily that's a bit harsh..."

"And was there the time when you actually threatened him by saying you were going to charm his broom during a match?" I hid my blushing face in my hands.

"You didn't actually say that did you?" Em asked, eyes wide with shock.

"He asked me about thirty times that evening to make sure you left your wand behind for that match, remember? You thought you lost it," I remembered.

So that was what had happened. Hah, I knew I wasn't that clumsy!

"I had to hide it and made him pay me for that one," and she winked in success.

"Marlene!" Em cried again, hardly able to believe all this. Bless her heart, she always thought the best of people. But with someone like Marley, if you expect the worst you can't be let down.

Or so I thought.

"I can't believe this Marley!" I shook my head at her in disgust. "Betrayal, that's what this is. Pure, utter betrayal at it's worst. I'm disgusted."

"Hey! That's unfair, I was completely broke and I saw a really pretty cream lacy set in Hogsmeade..." she gave me the full 'Marlene is so sorry' look. Fluttering eyelashes, pink cheeks and biting her bottom lip, the lot.

"Ugh, fuck off," I joked, reaching again for my glass. "How much was it?" I added, giving in.

She giggled, clapping her hands together, "just under fifteen galleons, it was bloody expensive!"

Fifteen GALLEONS?

"Marly!" I gasped, "how much did Potter pay?"

"All, he said it was half of my Christmas present as well," she smiled wide.

"Oh Mar, you didn't!"

"Oh yes of course," she grinned sneakily, "and Potter sure did agree it was important for me to update that corner of my closet. That if it wasn't matching, you may as well be fully clothed without an inch of skin showing."

I shook my head in disbelief. The two of them were a pair!

"You two probably had a grand natter about your excessive collection, no?"

"Oh of course," she nodded, "I even offered to show him exactly _what_ he was purchasing..."

Em covered her ears.

"Whore!" I called jokingly.

"But he turned down my offer without even considering it." She slumped and rolled her eyes.

"Ah, good on him. You will have plenty chance to show the set off, I'm sure." I patted her comfortably.

"Oh trust me, I have."

"Already?" I asked, not wanting to hear the answer.

"Of course, where do you think I wa-"

"Maaarrrleeeeeyyy..." Em moaned from behind her hands.

Mar raised a brow. "Fine. I will leave this juicy story for another time."

"Thank Merlin," Em took her hands away from her flushed face.

"Right girls, time to clear away, I think." Pomfrey was walking over with the familiar clipboard holding my papers.

"Get well soon, love," Mar gave me another cautious hug, followed by Emma.

"Yes, please rest whilst you can. I know how much you stress about work!" I nodded my head in agreement.

"Yeah, yeah," I brushed them off moodily, "see you!"

My leg was propped up as usual, my shirt unbuttoned and my head checked and iced. I watched as Pomfrey examined x-ray-like images of my leg and collar bone, swiping from left to right and vice versa, comparing and zooming.

"Well, well well, Lily Evans!" She called smiling brightly down at me, "only a quick recovery for your collar bone then!" She looked once more at the image projected in front of her. "A quick charm or two and the bone will be good as new!"

I beamed up at her.

"You are very lucky the swelling went down so quickly. Yesterday it was double the size! There was no point charming the bone because I wouldn't have been able to see where the break was. Now that it has gone down it will be simple," she drew her wand, prodding my collar with it gently.

"Okay, right here," she lightly touched the skin near my shoulder, "deep breaths now, Lily, I don't want you to try and move and resist as your bone shifts, ok?" I nodded. Deep breaths.

I watched as Pomfrey cast the spell wordlessly and felt the bone under her wand shift slightly. It wasn't necessarily painful, just uncomfortable. I couldn't squirm, though, because Pomfreys' vice-like grip glued my arm in place.

"That's good, stay just like that. Deep breaths for me please..."

A moment later the awkward feeling stopped and Pomfrey let go of me. "Perfect," she eyed my shoulder, examining it and prodding it. I felt no pain.

"No pain, tingling or numbness?" I shook my head and she smiled.

"Well that's one injury done!" She stepped back and began writing notes on her clipboard. "One shattered collar bone, healed."

I looked down. It was still slightly purple from bruising, but it no longer hurt.

"Now for the leg," and she grimaced slightly. She unwrapped the blue, hard cast from my leg, chucking that to the side, before using magic to remove the cream one below. My leg was bare, slightly blue and numb for sure.

"One injury at a time, I suppose," she mumbled under her breath.

"Is it looking any better than yesterday?" I asked, wondering if it had healed whatsoever. It looked the exact same to me.

"Well, it's very hard to tell. You had so many injuries at once, your body is probably struggling with repairing the bone, so we have to try and take as much pressure off it as possible, instead trying to help it," she pointed to the ice-pack behind my head. "So I basically lined the broken bone up with a couple charms and bandaged it up so it couldn't move out of place, and now it's just a case of waiting for the healing."

"Can't you use healing charms?" I asked again, moving my newly freed limb in gesture. She smiled.

"As much as I love magical healing charms and techniques, I have had some dreadful experiences with them and particularly nasty breaks." She scrunched her nose up as she was going through more of the x-ray images. "The way a healing charm works is simple, so it is unable to understand the complexities of the human body. And your break would just be too much for the spell. So I'm using the natural muggle way, maybe one your more familiar with."

I nodded, remembering the day a girl at my primary school came in one day on crutches and a massive cast. She had broken her toe.

"Yes, I've seen the bandages and crutches," I nodded enthusiastically. If I had crutches, I would still be able to go back to my lessons. I wouldn't be stuck in here with Pomfrey.

"Yes, exactly."

A creaking sound announced someones entrance. That somebody being Remus Lupin.

"Ah, Remus. I will be with you in a minute. Take a seat," Pomfrey said without even looking at him.

"Thanks," Remus replied, not noticing me.

"Remus!" I called, waving to get his attention. He jumped from where he had sat, looking at me with wide eyes.

"Ahh...urm..hi Lil," he said awkwardly, "you alright?"

I nodded enthusiastically, "good as gold! Finally, I can tie my hair up myself!" I called back, reaching for the thing lying atop my head. It was one big mess.

"That's great!" He grinned from where he was sitting.

"What are you doing here?" I asked. Clearly, he wasn't here to see me.

"Oh. Urm, I have a bad headache," he held his hand to his head rather dramatically and pulled a face. "Really bad."

"Lily, please focus," Pomfrey said sharply, "I am trying to apply a potion to your leg and it's almost impossible for me to do when you are screaming across the room and moving your legs wildly in every direction!"

"Sorry," I looked down.

"There we go, now I can get on with this and help poor Remus with his headache." She gave me a glare and carried on with the cream.

"Oh, why don't you sort him out now? My leg can wait!" I asked, wondering why she didn't just do that in the first place.

"I have already started this now. Let me finish, get you going and then-"

"Get me going?" I called excitedly, forgetting about keeping my leg still and sitting up immediately.

"Yes, yes. If you would just let me explain, you would find out h-"

"Am I being let out?" I asked, my eyes wide and my heart beating crazy fast with joy, excitement and aghhh, I was going to be able to _move_ again!

"Miss Evans-"

I was going to be free!

"No one ever seems to understand how completely and utterly boring and frustrating it is being cooped up in here for so long, with nothing to do, no one to talk to; left with my own blank imagination and an empty pit of nothingness." I squeeze my eyes shut, seeing the colours splatter behind my lids. "Any day now I could go mad, you hear me? Mad!"

"That's quite enough now, Miss Evans!"

I open my eyes at the use of my surname. Surely Pomfrey and I had got to a first name basis by now?

"I was planning on releasing you with crutches, but after you have just insulted my company, my hospital wing _and_ the physio I have left for you, I might have to rethink my decision..."

I looked up to find a sparkle in her eyes.

"You know I didn't mean it in that way," I start, but am instantly cut off.

"And all done with the leg," she rolled her eyes. My blue bandage was no longer blue.

"Orange?" I question.

"To match the hair," she ruffles my hair in answer and helps me swing my leg round. "I will just fetch you a pair of clothes..."

Not a minute later she returns with some familiar slim wide-leg joggers and my favourite green jumper.

"Your friends gave me these, and seeing as you won't be returning to lessons this afternoon, I think it's fair."

Oh I do just _adore_ Marly right now.

Pomfrey closed the curtain around me, and helped me change into my comfy clothes. It was quite the struggle to get my bandaged leg into the joggers.

I found my wand and charmed my hair into plaits that would last a couple days. I was presented with two crutches, and began to stand up. After lying down for the past two (?) days, my legs ached.

"So you want to put all your weight onto the remaining leg, the other one is not allowed any weight whatsoever, do you hear me?"

I nodded, slipping my arms through the gap and holding onto the handles tightly. No weight on injured leg. Got it.

"That leg is not to get wet. I don't care how you keep it dry, whether you charm it, wrap it in a bag or don't shower for however long, but don't let it get wet."

I nod again. Leg doesn't get wet.

"And finally, please please please, be careful!" She gave me a look, then turned to look at Peter who was reading a book. "I don't want to see you again for a good term or two, okay?"

"It's just a phase Pomfrey, I promise," I answered, moving one step forward. I was going to have to get used to this.

"I really do hope so. Come back tomorrow for a check, okay? No weight, no water, no more injuries."

"Got it."

"Oh, and James is here to take you to the Gryffindor tower. I recommend you practise going up stairs- don't know if you have noticed, but there are quite a few in this school." She shook her head in disbelief and led me out.

Potter was waiting, chatting earnestly to Remus. His hands were shoved into his pockets, and he was still in his school uniform.

"And the casualty returns," he stated when he saw me, grinning wide. He walked over to where I was slowly crutching.

"Yeah yeah yeah, whatever." My eyes focused on the spot in front of me. Crutch then foot, crutch then foot.

"Now James, slow and steady please." She spoke to him as a mother would to her son. She raised a brow and pursed her lips. "Help up stairs would be appreciated."

"Of course, Pomfrey." He agreed, coming over to stand by me. I was trying to hide the fact I was huffing and puffing after lying in bed for the last couple days. He ran a hand through his hair.

"Well, it's been nice to spend time with you over the past few days, Pomfrey," I started, looking up at her with the greatest appreciation, "you have been great company and I have never felt in such safe hands."

Potter chuckled next to me, so I glared at him.

"I'm sorry poor Peter got caught up in this, and that I am being released first-"

"It's not a prison, Evans," Potter smirked. I gritted my teeth.

"But I am really grateful for everything you have done, especially when you found me all knocked out on the bed..."

"Hah," Pomfrey rolled her eyes.

"It has been eventful." I ended, patting her arm sorrowfully, before turning away and crutching towards the exit, only stopping by the doors, waiting for Potter to open them for me.

"Farewell," I turned back and waved, hoping to see a tear running down Pomfreys' face. Instead all I saw was an amused grin.

"See you tomorrow Lily," she waved as if making a point. I waved just as enthusiastically in return.

"Come on, Boffin," Potter gently pushed me forward, having caught up, "I'm sure you can wait _that_ long."

I used my crutch/new-found-weapon to whack his leg.

"Ouch," he said, clearly in no pain whatsoever. He opened the door, and gestured me to go through.

"Thanks," I grunted, the click-click of my crutches echoing out, "adieu, Pomfrey, until tomorrow!"

"Yeah, yeah. Get out now, come on."

Hhmm, I was going to miss that woman.

"Now what was that about being knocked out in bed?"

— _Gryffindor staircase, seventh step_ —

"Merlin, Boffin. If you _just_ let me touch your arm..."

I glared at him. I might be slow, but I was perfectly capable of hopping up the staircase by myself.

"Or, you know, as a wizard, I could leviate you up!?" He waved his wand in front of me. Pah, I wouldn't trust him. Not after he took me around the quiditch pitch and nearly saw to our deaths.

"At least let me help you!" He ran a furious hand through his messy hair and pulled. At the rate this was going, he wouldn't have any hair left by the time we got up to the tower.

He reached out with the hand that had not a minute ago been at his hair, and tried to take my weight.

"Potter, I. Said. No." I stopped to glare at him, noticing that even on the step below me, he was just as tall as me. I turned and carried on hopping. My leg ached.

"Fine."

"You just can't take no for an ans-" I stopped.

Wait, what?

"I said no." He smirked at my gaping fish face.

He said no? James Potter said no? Since when?

"Yeah, yeah. I heard you the first time," I shut my mouth. Nothing was quite coming out the way I wanted it to.

"Really?" He questioned, as we continued our clamber towards the common room. This school and its bloody stairs.

"Oh my gosh, let it drop," I moaned, finally reaching the top. Just a conversation with this boy was tiring.

I stopped. "We are taking a break."

He raised that goddam eyebrow again, but casually leant against the wall opposite. He took out his wand and started spinning it round and round.

"So," I started, bored of the silence. I hated being alone with myself.

"So." He answered, grabbing his hair once again.

"I will have to do this everyday?" I asked, internally deciding that my legs funeral must be booked soon.

"Every day."

"To every _single_ lesson?"

"Every lesson."

I came to a conclusion. There was only one way around this. And a painful way at that.

"I must find a saw." I looked around, half expecting one to just pop out from behind a tapestry.

"A saw?" He asked inquisitively.

"A saw."

"And why must you find a saw?" He asked.

Ah, the stupid, stupid boy. He just couldn't keep up, could he?

"To chop off my leg."

"Don't be so dramatic," he teased.

"I'm not! I don't even think _you_ would be able to climb a great staircase like that on just one leg!" I pointed to the climb I had just endeavoured.

"Ay, don't doubt my athletic ability," he glared, "I'm sure I would manage just fine." He crossed his arms over his chest confidently.

"Pah! I would like to see you try!" I shot back, mimicking his stance.

"Save that for another day. For now, let's get you back to the common room." He pushed off the wall and carried on.

"I'm very competitive!" I called after him, crutching as fast as I could to catch up. The least the bugger could do was slow down for me!

Fortunately, there were no more staircases, only the loooooongggg trek from near McGonagalls' office to the common room.

"I will warn you in advance," he broke the silence, us walking shoulder to shoulder, "as Quiditch team captain, it's my job to be..." he paused, probably thinking of the most accurate, least showy-off word, "athletically capable."

"Athletically capable?"

He scrunched his nose up rather cutely, "y'know, plan workouts and drills and...training?"

"Sounds boring."

"Is boring." He turned and gripped his hair again. "But, well, and I hate to say this, but it keeps me..." his eyes raised to the ceiling in thought, "physically competent?"

"You don't need to warn me about your physique," I rolled my eyes. "I've seen you on the pitch."

I watched his response. Props to him, his face held straight even though his eyes lit up. Not only was he one of the schools finest catch, but he knew it as well.

"You have?" He asked innocently, eagerly loving the attention.

"Oh give up, Potter. Don't go all modest on me!" I attempt to whack him again, but sure enough, the physically capable Quiditch captain avoided swiftly.

"Fine, fine." He paused, "but I didn't know you were checking out my body as well?"

My jaw dropped. The cheek!

He smirked at me, his stupid mouth twitching to one side of his stupid face and his stupid brows raised in question and his stupid hand still in his _double_ -bloody stupid hair.

What the hell was I meant to say to that?

What in Merlins grave was I meant to say?

"Ah, don't bother answering," he continued, "must be kinda embarrassing."

I sputtered.

"That's not what I meant...you think I would...I mean Dory...yes, but me? I didn't even...I mean..."

Now that _was_ embarrassing.

My face was burning. BURNING.

I stopped. My face glowed. My hands itched.

He laughed.

"Hey, calm. I'm only joking!" He tried to soothe me, a hand running up and down my arm softly.

I tingled where he touched.

"Please," I took his arm off me. I was not in the right frame of mind to deal with him right now. He stepped away with his arms up in surrender.

All I wanted to do, was get to the bloody common room, lie on a sofa with a blanket by the fire and read my book.

My book.

My book?

Dr Cruickshank!

"Oh shit!" I cried, smacking my head with my arm.

Nothing was going right. This whole day was crap. It was as if the whole school was against me, the whole world. Just as I was healing, just as I managed to make it up all the staircases and just as we were actually getting somewhere, I left the one thing that was _right,_ by my bed in the hospital wing.

My eyes prickled. "Ughhh. I can't do anything right. I'm going to cry, I'm actually going to cry." I groaned, doubling over. I smacked my head repeatedly. "Why." Smack, "can't." Smack. "I." Smack. "Do." Smack. "Anything right!" Smack, smack, smack.

"Hey..." Potter, bless him, came closer warily.

"It was right there. Right there! I couldn't have missed her waving at me on the cover." I turned away, sniffling into my jumper. Lovely.

"Waving on the cover?"

"I'm so stupid. So _double-bloody_ stupid!"

"Waving on the cover? Oh...wait," he paused, "are you talking about that book?"

Oh well done. _Well_ done. Would you like a trophy? A medal? Still thick as a brick.

 _That_ book not just being any book. That was my _Charms_ book.

"It's been such a crap day," I got out, biting my cheek desperately. I did not want to cry in front of Potter.

"Yeah, I get you," he retorted.

Hah, no he didn't. Perfect Potter and his perfect Potter life. He didn't understand. He wasn't clumsy or forgetful or a bad book owner or a freakish little witch. He wasn't a disorganised mess or an anxious public speaker. He wasn't afraid of his own mind, afraid of the dark thoughts that come alive and play with your imagination and cling to you, haunt you. He wasn't a mudblood.

"No. No you don't!" I cried, wiping my jumper across my nose. Ugh, I dug into my pocket and, of course, no tissue was to be found.

"Oh really? Really?!" I cried out in desperation, the tears flowing freely now. There was no point holding them back.

"Here," he said gently, and I swear, I SWEAR by Merlins name, for the first time in my whole entire rubbish life, I actually felt grateful the boy in front of me was here, right now, with me. He drew me into a hug, and boy did I not know I needed one until I was there, breathing in his musky, manly scent and sobbing into his chest.

He ran a hand up and down my back softly, trying to calm me down.

Now, you may be wondering, why in Merlins name was I clinging onto the boy I most despised in the whole entire universe? I assure you now, I am wondering as well. Wasn't this the boy I was meant to hate? Okay, maybe not hate. I can't say I hate James Potter. He has never been nasty to me, and he certainly has matured since last year. No, I can't say I hate him.

"You good?" He asked, pulling back. I automatically hid my tear stained face.

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." I slotted my hand back into my crutches, continuing towards the common room.

"Hey, hey!" He called, "come back!" He gripped my shoulder tightly. "You can't just soak my shirt then wander off!"

"I'm fine." What a generic answer.

"Well clearly not!" He through his hands in the air, then straight to his hair, gripping, pulling and playing with the strands. "Don't say that, you know you're not."

He looked at me expectantly.

I didn't quite know what to do. I'm not very good at being vocal about my emotions. It takes a lot to make me cry, and I couldn't get my head around why now. Lying in bed for the past couple of days couldn't possible wear me out and tear me down that much.

"Go on, say something!"

Something was going on. Something in my head wasn't right.

"Sorry 'bout the shirt."

He sighed. Yes, James Potter actually sighed at me.

"Well at least it's a start."

"Sorry."

There was a moment of silence, me thinking about nothing in particular and him standing there, staring into the distance, gripping his hair.

And rather surprisingly, it was I who broke the silence.

"I don't like being alone." His amber eyes flicked back over to me. His hand finally dropped down by his side. "I think too much. I work myself up into a mess."

He tilted his head to the side like a dog would.

I squirmed. I didn't like this whole opening-up thing.

"So you wanted me to stay with you in the Hospital Wing?"

I looked at him, confused. What?

"You know Pomfrey wouldn't have allowed that."

Oh. A joke. Of course.

"Really, Potter. This isn't the time." I rolled my eyes, smiling all the same.

"Oh no, I'm not making a joke! Seriously, if you didn't want to be alone I could have sneaked in!" He spoke earnestly.

I snorted, though I did not doubt him. Six years with this boy and you learn never to doubt his abilities.

"Come on, Lily!" He stared at me with a look of disappointment, "this is a heart-to-heart. Nothing is amusing."

I gave him my best ' _are-you-being-serious'_ look.

"Now it's my turn to open up." He started, fidgeting mindlessly with a string hanging from his shirt.

"Okay, go ahead."

"I have this major insecurity, something that is always there, in my brain, y'know?" I nodded, curious at what could have possibly happened that had stayed with him, seeing as anything the teachers said didn't. "It was just once, but it kinda hurt, right here." He banged a fist to his heart, smirking at me. "I don't often talk about it. It dampens the mood."

I bit my lip, holding back a giggle. He was so hyperbolic.

"I was once called an arrogant, bullying toerag." He dramatically fake-sobbed, and that set me off. I chuckled so bloody loud I'm sure my Great Aunt Bess could here me in her grave.

And oh dear Merlin it felt so damn good.

"Admit," I got out, "it was a bloody creative insult." And he chuckled, that hand back to his hair.

"Look at it this way; it sure will stay with me forever." And he grinned again, his lips parting just enough to see the tips of his teeth.

Ah, there was no way I could possibly hate this boy anymore.

"You'll get over it," I reached out and patted his shoulder comfortingly. My hand lingered there a moment too long, and I almost fell forward, if it hadn't been for his hand which had covered mine.

"Shit, sorry," I swore, as he pushed me back onto my one and only surviving foot. "Never knew how bad my balance was until now."

He laughed, light hearted and kind to the ears. "We should get going, otherwise you won't get any rest before dinner!" And he helped me with my crutches as we carried on with our trek.

"So," I started, thinking back to the lovely rumours Marly had started about me.

"So," he mirrored, turning to give me his trademark cheeky grin, the one that made me want to swat him in the face over and over, the one that (at the same time) was annoyingly growing on me because if his boyish nature.

"I have heard a couple rumours," and he winced.

Same, Potter, same.

"Let's not talk ab-" he started before I cut him off.

"I had a quick word with a very guilty friend of mine, and she owned up to it all."

He grimaced.

"However, just because she owned up to it, doesn't mean the rumours haven't reached Dumbledore yet!"

"Look, Evans, I really couldn't care less what the student body thinks about-"

"Nor do I! But I really do have enough attention as it is," and I glared down at my cast.

"Marlene only meant it as a joke!" He stated, holding open the portrait hole open for me.

"Thank you." I crutched into the empty common room. I had forgotten about lessons.

"You look knackered." He followed me in, crashing onto the best sofa by the fireplace.

"I am knackered," I lay down on the sofa opposite, resting my leg on a pile of cushions. Hmm, this felt good. Now all I needed was Dr Cruickshank...

We stayed there for however long, in silence. Him reading a book he picked up from somewhere, me trying to catch a quick nap.

But for some reason I couldn't sleep. I was so, so tired, and I kept yawning, but I couldn't relax. I stared at the maroon ceiling, tracing stars with my finger.

Then I lay on my side, staring into the fire, watching the flames flick and spark. I make out a dragon and an owl. I watched the wood burn, enjoying the radiating warmth.

The now-familiar sound of a page turning brought my attention to the boy sitting opposite me.

I stared long and hard at him. He fingered the page, his face studious, honey eyes darting from side to side. I looked at the title. Something about Transfiguration. How boring.

One hand played with his hair. I wondered how his arm didn't ache from being in his hair so much.

His jaw was clenched. Was he reading a particularly challenging page? Or was it just because he was focused.

His shirt was still untucked, shirt sleeves rolled up to reveal his sculpted forearms. I traced the muscle with my finger in the air. A smooth curve from left to right, ending at his thumb. I traced it again. It was a nice shape. Not like the sharp, unforgiving dragon, or the floating stars on the ceiling. No, it was a soft, fitted curve.

I sighed quite audibly. My eyes lingered on the shirt button, staring and not quite looking.

I was so tired. And I really should go to lessons tomorrow. Maybe an early night is due. Maybe I could persuade someone to bring me up some dinner. I knew Sirius was friendly with the House elves.

He was missing a button. Did he know that? I don't think so. Who wears a shirt which is missing a button?

"You're missing a button," he jumps at the sound of my voice, staring at me staring at his chest (not in that way- Merlin no!).

"Huh?" He grunts, gazing at me like I was a madwomen, and maybe I was.

"A button. You're missing a button." I lift my finger at point at the exact spot I'm staring at.

He looks down and raises a brow.

"Oh yeah," he looks back up, biting a lip.

"Are you going to sew a button back on?" I ask, thinking back to my seventh birthday, when Mum took me for sewing lessons. I might not be the best on the machine, but I was almost perfect with a needle. Maybe a little bit rusty though, after nine years or so.

"Sew it on?" He asks.

"Yes, with a needle and string."

"A needle and string?"

"Yes, it's simple." I use my fingers in the air to make a sewing motion, although I'm not sure it looked liked it.

"Right," he says, shutting his book on his lap.

"What were you reading?"

He looks back down and shrugs.

"Oh, I don't really know, some extra Transfiguration reading."

Extra boring.

"Oh," my eyes snap back to his face, and he grins. I think back to Dr Cruickshank lying alone next to my bed in the Hospital Wing...

"You look tired." He commented pointedly.

"I can't sleep." I turn back onto my back, so I didn't have to look at him.

"Read?"

"I left it..." I heard him sigh in agreement. He got up, walked around me and went over the Portrait Hole.

"I'll go fetch it, you sleep, okay?" I nod, knowing he can't see me on the sofa.

"Mmm," I agree, yawning again.

And my eyes shut, darkness engulfing me. " _Won't be too long..."_


	3. Ups and Downs

**_AN: one whole year later and I finally upload. I cannot fill you in on a year-worth of memories, but today I got concussion, so that really does sum it up in a nutshell. I really hope this lives up to your expectations, I have worked really hard on this 3 it really is a whirlwind of emotions (representing the past year) but hopefully some bits will make you smile, as I did as I wrote them._**

 ** _Thank you for sticking with me, forever appreciated. Long term readers, I hope you still understand what's happening, if not, then here is a quick reminder:_**

 _Previously: Lily manages to injure herself and Peter during a Herbology workshop, leaving her on crutches and with a sore arm. Snape, and old friend, visits her whilst she is in the Hospital wing, and Lily faints. Her beloved friends come and visit, and let her know how the school have made reasons as to how she became in the state she is: the favourite being that she wanted a threesome with Potter. Finally, she is released from the Hospital Wing, but ends up having a really bad day, ending up leaving her favourite book in the library and falling asleep in the common room._

 ** _Much love for you all, until next time..._**

* * *

 **We were strange in love, her and I. Too wild to last, too rare to break- Atticus.**

* * *

— _Sometime later_ —

My bed has always been the comfiest. Ask anyone; Marly, Dory, Emma, anyone. I agree. I once slept in Marlys' bed and, dear Merlin, got the shock of my life when I realised just how ridiculously hard it was in comparison to mine.

I also have a super soft, mustard, yellow blanket mum knitted for me. It smells of daffodils and buttercups, and it's this blanket that I wake up to find laying over me.

Which is strange, seeing as I fell asleep in the common room, far, far away from the dorm.

I roll over, and sure enough, I am no longer in the common room.

Dr Cruickshank rests on my bedside table, along with a glass of water, my wand and a note.

I reach out and open it eagerly.

 _Gone to dinner, might bring food back if you're lucky. Will be back before seven to get you ready- Mar x_

Hm. Get me ready?

I sit up, slightly dizzy. The room was empty. I swung both my legs over the edge of the bed, used my crutches to go to the bathroom, grabbing my wand on the way.

I looked at myself in the mirror. My hairband hung from my hair uselessly, my breath stank and I was in need for a shower.

A quick charm later, and I was sitting in the shower, my broken leg propped up and charmed to repel all the water. I smothered my hair with my favourite Strawberry Field shampoo, scrubbed my face with my special face scrub and washed all the signs of lack of sleep (even though it was all I had been doing over the last couple days) and lack of hygiene from my face.

My teeth were scrubbed, hair dried and tied into a ponytail. With one leg thickly bandaged, I struggled into a denim skirt (jeans and leggings were not going to fit) and a pretty mustard off-the-shoulder top that mum bought me a while back. I put on one white converse and even went to the extent of lavishing my lips with a moisturising lip balm.

I crutched to the common room, where students worked, chatted and read during their free time. It was a Saturday, and everyone buzzed around me.

I looked about for someone, anyone I knew. The girls were probably eating, _all_ the way downstairs, and the boys...

"Well hello there, Lily!" Remus walked up to me grinning widely. He was dressed casual, in a pair of jeans and a plain, white tee.

"Hey," I grinned, hopping over towards him. He had come from the boys staircase. "Where is everyone?"

"Downstairs still. There has been some...some mail." His face dropped dramatically.

"Oh Merlin." My heart sank. Mail. Mail meant news. And, especially at this time, news meant bad news- Death eater attacks.

"Forty three wizards and witches..." he trailed off as Pete came in.

"Hiya Lily, waiting for the others?" He attempted to be cheery, and credits to him for trying.

I nodded.

"I think the boys are still eating." He smiled apologetically, "though they were nearly done when I left. James and Peter had finished their fourth slices of cake, and they normally stop at five, unless it's a special occasion, of course."

"Right, of course." Four slices of cake?

"Don't worry, they will be back soon. The girls left a while ago, I know Marly was anxious to start getting ready," he rolled his eyes and grinned.

"Getting ready for what?" I burrowed my brows.

"The party..." he looked away awkwardly.

"What party- Oh! Wait, is this Frasers party?" Ah, bloody hell. I thought I got out of that.

"Yeah, apparently you had a funeral?"

Ah, my Great Aunts turtle. I remember.

"Yes, yes. Don't remind me." I turned round, back towards the staircase.

This was getaway Plan A; get to the dorm, climb back into bed and fall into a deep, deep sleep and not wake up for a couple hundred years or so.

"Well then, I must be getting back..."

Easier said than done.

"Ah!" The Portrait Hole swings open. "My dearest Lily! You have awakened! You are dressed! _And_ you almost look acceptable! What brings me such luck?"

Quick! Come up with a Plan B!

And 'almost acceptable'? I may not look my absolute, fuckable best, but I sure do look better than I have for the past couple days.

"Marlene! How lovely it is to see you too! _And_ I almost missed you!" I accepted her bitter sweet hug and light kiss on the cheek with the fakest smile I could muster. I was not a happy bunny.

"Ay, stop with the sarcasm. We hardly have two hours and we need to fix," she waved at my satirical face, and oh-so-expertly put on lip balm, "this _mess_."

"Fix your own messes before you come after mine," I quipped back, turning away from her, and towards the genuinely smiling Emma.

"And the one I actually like to be around!" I smiled my very best, Lily-Evans smile.

"Right back at you, but we do need to get a move on," she replied, looking very uncomfortable, despite my compliment.

"So do I, actually. Bless, my poor Great Aunt is probably wondering where I am!" I smiled brightly.

"Look, Lily." Marly put a heavy hand on my shoulder, pushing me towards the staircase. I began to ascend. "Give up. Fraser thinks you're coming. Even Liam thinks you're gonna be there, and he doesn't even know you're injured!"

I glared at her. She knew what I was worried about. The rumours about being willing and such. But if Liam didn't know...

We reached our door, and I was helped onto my bed.

"Marly..." I started, the familiar feeling of giving in inhabiting my chest. The things I do for that girl.

"And I have already chosen what you will wear!" She went to my closet, ruffling through my things.

"Here we go," she came out, slightly red in the face, proudly holding a silky, strappy number hanging limply on a hanger. The dress, a metallic grey, had lace trimmings at the chest, and spaghetti straps as thin as a strand of hair.

"Really? Isn't that a nightgown?"

"Fuck, is Lily wearing that?" Dory slurred as she stumbled out the bathroom with straighteners in one hand and a dark bottle in the other.

"Yes."

"No." At the same time.

I started taking off my top.

"There is no way on earth-"

Marly giggled, coming over and helping me.

The dress is slipped over my head, and I tried to wiggle out of my skirt. The dress was cold on my bare skin.

"Oooh yes." Dory nodded from across the room. I rolled my eyes, smiling secretly. I felt good.

"With a smudged eye and a bit of glitter..." Mar went over to her make-up.

Not five minutes later, my eyes are lined with black liner, my lids sparkling silver and white, and my hair 'strategically' positioned around my face.

Dory came over with heels.

"Uh uh," I shook my head. "No."

"Lily..."

"Don't know if you noticed, but I am currently recovering from a rather _large_ number of injuries-"

"Yes, yes, we have had to hear all about them for what seems like the last _decade_ -"

"-especially on my left leg which is _currently in a cast_ , and therefore I am relying heavily on _crutches_ to aid me when _walking_."

"Blah, blah, blah. The heel is the ultimate finish," she brings over the right foot, chunky, black heel and positioned it by my foot. "You will be a complete ten out of ten."

"Look," and although I may have given in about the dress, as one of the few parts of my body that was working, my head was not going to give in so easily this time. "The dress, it's stunning. I love it, I feel great in it. And the makeup, again, fantastic, I look like I may have actually caught the sun for once. But the heels? That's taking it a step too far. I'm clumsy enough in flats."

Dory tutted. Marly rolled her eyes and chucked over my trusty trainers- white with a red Nike tick.

"Thank you."

"I hope you know you are making the wrong choice here, Lily Evans," Marly said, as I bent over and tied my lace.

"Pah, wrong choice or not, it's the sensible one."

"And who wants to be sensible?"

"If sensible means not breaking any more limbs, then me."

"Go be sensible if you want, but no logical bloke is going to want-"

"Marly, go put some clothes on."

— _Hours later_ —

Eight dresses later, Marly was 'suitably' dressed, made up and ready to go.

And when I say ready to go, I mean she had no shoes on, her hair was wet and she was in the process of shaving her legs but she still insisted I go without her.

As the good friend that I am, I stubbornly refused to leave without her.

That, and because I couldn't actually get anywhere without her opening doors for me.

But still.

"Honestly Mar, no one is going to even look at how hairy your legs are. No one is going to care!"

She sent me a glare from the shower, where she was carefully applying a dark lotion to her skin.

"And your hair will be dry by the time you get these strappy heels on," I chuck her a tangle of heel and straps, and she started working the straps up her glossy legs. Last summer she had decided to buy some strappy aztec-style heels, the sort that take longer to put on than the amount of time you can actually wear them for.

"You're not helping!" She spoke calmly, intensely wrapping the laces up her leg, and tying them in a bow at her thigh.

Fine, then. I was going to help.

I grabbed my wand, and not a moment later, her hair was not only dry but charmed neatly into a long ponytail.

"There we go," I got up and crutched to the door.

"Let me just-" she grabbed some lipstick, smothered her lips and then graciously opened the door for me.

We went down to the common room, where Remus and Peter were waiting to help, both dressed casually in skinny jeans and button ups.

"Took your time," Peter grunted, with no sign of interest whatsoever in what we (and by 'we' I mean Marlene) were doing.

"Yes, well I am afraid our dear friend over here does not understand how to read a clock," I rolled my eyes and ducked as 'our dear friend' tried to swat me.

"Ah, of course. When have you ever been on time?" Remus smirked, before taking my wand out of my hand. The down-side of both my hands being occupied when walking (because of the crutches), was that I was unable to hold my wand and had to either take a bag everywhere or get someone else to hold it for me.

"Thanks."

"Oh, please!" Marly started, always the feisty one, "I may have a habit of being late, but at least I turn up!"

Remus looked a little bit unsettled at this.

"That's true!" | spoke, delighted. Hah! We weren't late! Potter and Sirius hadn't arrived yet! "Come on then, let's hear it."

"It's nothing much. Nothing serious."

"Come on, Remus!"

"No, I'm not-"

"Remus!"

"JamesconvincedSiriustolethimgivehimahaircut!"

"What?"

"I know, I'm crossing my fingers too that it's not that bad."

"No, no. Say it again, you were too fast."

"Oh, James managed to convince Sirius that he needed a haircut, and that he should do it."

"So James is up there cutting off Sirius' hair?"

"Exactly."

"Oh shit."

"Oh shit, indeed."

I squirmed. Sirius had been growing his hair for three years, and he had been proudly showing off his shoulder length mane not last week.

"And Sirius, he is fine with it?"

Remus shrugged calmly, Peter glared at his watch.

"But they did say to go without them so..." Peter stated pointedly.

"Look, Mar and Lily, they did both make a massive point of not waiting for them. We should probably just get going."

I nodded. As much as I wanted to storm up there, grab the scissors (or whatever tool they were using) out of their hands, I also didn't want to get in the middle of it all. One thing I certainly had learnt from a couple years of friendship with Sirius, was not to interrupt whatever was going on in his maze of a brain.

So we set off towards the dungeons, following the heavy bass thump that could be heard floors above.

My prefect instinct wanted to turn the music down and send the younger students to sleep, however, and this was really, _really_ difficult to do, I had to simply ignore the tickling feeling and try to 'let my hair down,' as Mar says.

We walked into a room crowded, and I mean absolutely _stuffed_ , with students. Most were sixth or seventh years, with a red cup or a bottle in their hand and flushed cheeks. There was a table at the back with a collection of empty bottles, and to our right a music box was whirring away. The floor was covered in glass and powder and crunched crisps.

"Looks like we are late," Peter commented lightly, drifting towards a bucket of beers and ice.

"Want one, Lil?" Remus asked, and I shook my head. Not so fast, Remus Lupin.

"Are you kidding? I can hardly walk when sober!" I widened my eyes as an arm slung round my shoulder and I tried to turn.

"See you in a bit, Lil," Marl called, hinting towards some Slytherin in the corner she had made eye contact with. Honestly, that girl could not control herself.

"Long time no see, Ginge," I gasped at the familiar voice and turned as much as I could to give Liam a hug. It was only now I realised he didn't come visit me when I was bed-bound.

"Liam!" I shouted as much as I could over the music, "Merlin, I haven't seen you in forever!"

We pulled back and he grinned clumsily.

"Yeah, I heard about your accident. What happened?" He stuttered.

I rolled my eyes. Seems like everyone had heard about my incident.

"Fell down the stairs," I muttered, and as expected, he burst into uncontrollable cackles. I really don't see the funny side.

"Clutz at heart, yeah?" He pinched my cheek playfully, and I scrunched my nose in response. We made our way towards a table with drinks.

"You look cute, by the way," he lifted a dark bottle and I shook my head.

"Thanks, you're looking nice too."

"Glad my efforts paid off," he turned again and I used the opportunity to give his attire a proper look. Black jeans, slightly skinny but not clinging, and a band shirt. His hair was naturally quiffed upwards and he had stubble dotting his chin. He turned and I clumsily averted my eyes and busied myself with my crutches.

He lifted another carton up and I grabbed it. It was silvery with a reassuring similarity to capri-sun. I punched the straw through the hole and took a sip.

He raised his brows.

"Ugh!" Almost predictably, my trusty capri-sun lookalike was definitely not that. It had a shockingly sharp taste, like a neat vodka, but with a bitterness of marmite. Never have I tasted something so unbelievably foul.

"I did wonder..." he passed me a bottle of water, and I thankfully took a swig.

"So..." he started, leaning back against the table with his bottle in one hand. His hand gave way and he stumbled.

"So." I echoed, looking about. I never really felt quite like I fitted in at parties like this, especially when sober. Not that I don't like a drink- trust me, I can drink. I have always preferred a night in, no dressing up, no strangers. Most the people at this party I did not recognise.

"How long are you on those things for?" He pointed at my crutches, steadily making his way through his drink.

"Don't really know. Hopefully not too long. I'm so bored of not being able to move."

"Yeah, I can imagine it must be tough." I nodded, smiling at him. Liam was so unlike Sirius, or Remus. Liam was the sort of person you could just sit with and not have to say anything to be comforted. He was genuine and a steady character, with a heart of gold.

"Look," he started, rather uncomfortably. He carelessly slammed his bottle down on the table behind him and stood straight, walking towards me. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I didn't come see you after the accident. I really am. Maybe it would have made this all so much easier for you and perhaps me, but I couldn't."

I furrowed my brows. This was unexpected.

"It's quite hard to explain, it all happened so quickly and obviously he was working in Canada at the time and we weren't really speaking after what happened with mum..." he wasn't meeting my eye.

I hopped nearer, giving him a hug.

"Hey, it's just me, Lily." I whispered into his ear. "You don't have to tell me anything. Take your time."

He pulled back, eyelashes slightly damp, eyes slightly bloodshot. How much had he had to drink?

"He's a murderer, Lil, he murdered someone." Quietly. So, so quietly. A fat droplet rolled down his cheek and he wiped it fiercely.

It was one of those moments you don't quite know what to say. I couldn't say I was sorry, because sorry for who? For him? He certainly wasn't sorry, so how could I be sorry?

"Liam-"

"No, I don't want to hear it. I know, it's awful, it's inhumane and it's horrific and it's truly, utterly disgusting. But he is my dad." And he turned, grabbed another bottle and walked away, out the door.

I turned, and began crutching after him. There was no way I was going to catch up. He had broken into a jog.

"Lily!"

I blocked out all noise, following the blonde head that was fusing with all the other brown, black, blonde heads, towards the Astronomy tower.

"Hey, Lily!"

I elbowed through the crowds, back out of the door and down the hall. I looked left, into the darkness and saw no one. I looked right, and again, no one. Empty. Gone.

"Lily!" I turned at the call of my name, my eyes slowly focusing on the boy in front of me.

"Not now, Potter." I elbowed him in the ribs, making an instinct decision to go right, towards the study rooms.

"Hey, hey, relax! I'm only saying hi," he walked next to me calmly as my arms vigorously crutched me away from _him_ and towards Liam...

"Look, Lil, I know you are probably mad that-"

"Please, Potter, you have no clue. No bloody clue!" I peered into a study room through a window to find dusty, old books and a couple of rickety chairs.

"Okay, explain then." He spoke so calmly I stopped in my tracks and turned towards his stupid brown eyes and stupid smirk and stupid hand running through his stupid hair so bloody calmly...

"Fuck it." I swore, a hand reaching up to pull his hand out of his unruly hair. He gave me a questioning look. "It's distracting." I answered, dropping his hand back at his side.

"Okay, sorry..." he stated, and he really did look quite worried for me.

"Look, the only way you can help me right now is if you know, by any chance, where Liam went?"

I felt the atmosphere change. His jaw locked and he crossed his arms defensively in front of his chest.

He shook his head.

"For fucks sake Potter! Put whatever past you have with him behind you," I snapped, "because I have had enough of whatever petty little scrabble makes you hate him so much!"

I smacked him on the shoulder without as much force as I really wanted to use. I had absolutely no clue what had happened, but if they couldn't figure it out themselves, they shouldn't let it get in between my friendships with the both of them!

"It's water under the bridge." He gritted his teeth.

"Then act like it is!" The words were tumbling out of my mouth much faster than my brain was ticking, "stop acting like a bloody child and grow up! You have no clue what is going on in his life, your _stupid_ fat head is stuck, _so_ stuck, so far up your _ass_ you can't even tell how much this is bothering me!"

I gasped at how much my mouth had just exploded with thoughtless, fucked up comments.

I watched as his eyes widened and he opened his mouth to say something, then decided otherwise. His jaw locked visibly, and his hands fisted and grabbed his t-shirt as if he was resisting against the laws of nature to punch me, knock all the living breath out of me.

I turned around and buckled.

"Shit, Evans, I didn't even know you thought of me like that," he whispered breathlessly, and I heard him turn away from me, but not leave.

I sobbed audibly, wiping my tears on my arm.

"No," I sobbed again, turning back and rising to rest an arm on his shoulder in attempt to turn him around.

"Fuck off, Evans." He shrugged my hand off and began walking down the hall, past the entrance to the party, towards the astronomy tower.

"Potter!" I called and he stopped. My heart pounded.

And without a flinch, he stormed off again.

— _Later, probably early the next morning_ —

A room of dusty, old books and a couple of rickety, old chairs. A pile of used, snotty tissues.

I was hopeless. My big, fat, gobby mouth had runaway with itself again, as per. It had gotten itself into one big, fuck-all of a mess.

Words. Words were so painful. They stung.

' _I didn't even know you thought of me like that.'_

I didn't. I lied.

My poisonous mouth and it's tendency to do whatever the fuck it wants.

I used to think of him like that. As a spoilt prick with an inflated balloon stuck so far up his own ass he couldn't look past it.

But the truth was, and I couldn't deny it, no matter how much I tried to- and I tried very hard, that he wasn't like that,

And it stung.

But that wasn't even the start of it all. Liam, and his dad. His dad who had...

Yes, his dad who had murdered someone.

I didn't know much about Liam's family and home life. He never spoke about his parents, which was probably part of the issue.

The first time Liam had even brought up his Dad was last night.

I knew as much about his father as I did about Potter, it seemed.

Merlin, maybe I should take my head out my own ass. I clearly was so blinded my own petty little problems, I hadn't even bothered to find out why I hadn't seen Liam in what felt like three years. I hadn't bothered to ask about his family or his past or any of the things a good friend should know.

I hadn't even written to my own parents since the accident, I didn't know how Alice was getting on or what novel Em was currently devouring. I had no clue what was eating up Peter, he was so ratty today, it had been staring right out at me. But what had I done?

Ah, self-obsessed Lily had gone for a nap.

And there, slumped against the dusty, old books and old, rickety chairs, I decided I was going to pop my bloody bubble and pay attention to whatever the fuck was going on around me.

— _A couple days later_ —

It was Thursday. Thursday- the best day of the week.

Double potions.

Em waited at my desk, nose stuck in 1984 (George Orwell), my bag on one shoulder, hers on the other.

"Thanks so much, Em," I smiled up at the book cover, unpacking my textbook and a quill.

"So, Lily Evans," Marly slid into her seat next to me, glaring at me with her pale blue eyes, "please explain why James has been in the foulest mood since, what, Friday?"

I shrugged effortlessly.

"As if, miss Evans." She rolled her eyes, "you have approximately an hour and a half to tell me before I go-"

"Settle down, now," my head snapped to the front of the room, where Slughorn was standing addressing the class.

"Today, we are making one of my favourite potions."

I raised my brows at Mar.

"However, I don't want that to fool you- for if you do go wrong, as usual, there could be deadly fumes released." He waved us over to his demonstration table. There, on the desk, was a cauldron full of silky-smooth potion, swirling about elegantly. It had an attractive pearly sheen, and smelt...

Mmm.

"Amortenia."

Alice gasped from behind me.

"Today, I will put you in pairs to attempt to make this advanced potion. Please make notes throughout, I know you won''t find this task easy." He waved us back to his desk, after making some brief comments about the history and dangers of the potion.

"Partners are as follows..." he started reeling of a list of names.

I turned to the page and started reading through. It was a tough potion, but I was intrigued. What would the famous love potion smell like?

"Evans, I'm afraid Lupin doesn't seem to be well today," Slughorn came over towards me, giving me a sympathetic smile.

"It's fine, sir, I don't mind working alone!" I was more than happy- and capable, of working by myself and still making an accurate potion. Not even Sluggy could doubt that.

"Or," my heart sank, "you could use your incredible potion talents to help a less able student." He looked around the room. "Ah, Potter, get over here."

No. This was not happening. I had not spoken to Potter since the party. I hadn't been able to bring myself to go up and apologise.

He managed to walk right up to me without any eye contact.

"Lily here is going to help you through this potion." He smiled at me with his trademark toothy grin. "I really think it will benefit you both, maybe take some notes?" And with that he slapped Potter on the back and walked off to the next pair.

Well, if I didn't say something now, then when was the right time?

He sat on the stool next to me, flicking through his textbook to the correct page.

"Look," I started, turning abruptly towards him, my knee hitting his clumsily. "Sorry." I apologised, for banging into his knee? For the other night? I was sorry.

I was really, truly, honestly sorry.

"I don't want to hear it." He picked up a quill and began writing a title. "Let's just get this potion done with and move on."

I sighed. This was not how I had imagined it. I was meant to apologise sincerely and he was meant to accept and laugh it all off. We were meant to hug and then walk off together to join our friends for lunch. We were meant to move on.

"I'll go get the ingredients." I wandered off towards the store cupboard. I needed Ashwinder eggs, rose thorns and peppermint. Powdered moonstone and pearl dust also.

"Lily," Sirius grinned as he grabbed a jar of small, dark eggs, and I turned and returned the gesture.

"Sirius Black," I turned towards him and stopped. There, standing in front of me, was the face I knew so, so well with a new, short haircut and he looked pretty bloody fit. "Sirius Black!" I repeated, my eyes widening in excitement and immediately reaching out to touch his new barnet.

"Hands off," he stepped away, nearly dropping an armful of jars. "Still quite protective over it, sorry."

I chuckled, still so completely shocked at how good a job Potter had done with this previous mane.

"It looks incredible! Who knew it would suit you so well!" I reach up for the same jar of eggs.

"I did, which is why I let James near it. And yes, I'm well aware that I have started a new trend. Have you noticed Frank Longbottom got the exact same style the day after!" He gasped and shook his head.

"No, I will keep an eye out though." I reached up for some shiny powder. "I'm sure it looks way better on you though."

"It does."

"Anyways, I better get back to my bitch of a partner," he nodded back at a short haired girl nattering away to a boy sitting in the row in front. "See you!" And he made his way back, a slight skip in his step.

After collecting all the necessary ingredients, I went back to my bench and prepared everything for brewing.

"You have done a great job with Sirius' hair!" I commented lightly, cracking the eggs into a dish.

He grunted.

"No, seriously!" The eggs were whisked up and I poured them into the cauldron to start brewing.

"I'm not here to chat, Evans," he muttered, powdering the peppermint aggressively.

"Nor am I, but I know awfully well we both don't like silence." The timer for the boiled thorns went off, and I drained them and mixed them in slowly, stirring the potion as I did so.

"How do long do these need?" He asked, showing me a tray of powdered Moonstone, hot and steaming.

"Straight in," and he poured all the white, pearly powder into the mixture. In went the shredded Wigentree twigs, mushed Gurdyroot and a pinch of Oyster Sugar.

I poked the moonbeans that were peeking out the liquid as it boiled. It was a game, every time one popped up, I had to push it back down so that you could never see more than one.

"It doesn't say to do that here." Potter scrutinised, settling down to write some observations.

I stopped, and turned towards him. "So you _do_ talk."

"It's either that or silence, isn't it?"

I nodded. "Yeah, it is." I picked up my quill and began writing about the shiny appearance of the potion as it brewed.

"It takes ages to brew." Potter said as he checked the timer.

"Well, there were loads of ingredients, weren't there? They all have to brew."

"Yeah, I guess."

"What do you think it will smell of?" I asked, curiously. I think secretly, each and every one of us had an idea of what the love potion would smell like to us. I wondered what Potter thought his would smell like.

"For me?" He asked ironically.

"Who else?"

He shrugged, a hand swiping his hair. "Probably chocolate or something."

What a liar. I bet he had a good idea of what that potion would smell like to him. Wooden broomsticks? Pumpkin pies? Parchment and ink? Freshly mowed grass?

"What about you?" He asked, meeting my eye for the first time. I smiled out of habit.

But what about me? What did I think the potion would reveal? Fresh leather or new books? Cinnamon? Apple crumble?

"Dunno," I lied, avoiding his eyes. "Most likely strawberries or something."

He raised his brows, and I wondered if he knew about my obsession with my strawberry-field shampoo.

"Interesting."

I looked up at him gazing at me. "Interesting?" I asked, very much confused.

"Yeah. It is." He turned back down to his work, copying out a list of ingredients and a method.

I couldn't quite focus on my work, wondering about why my appealing scents were interesting to Potter.

— _Not ten minutes later_ —

I was pushed forward and took a sniff of the potion.

The combination of Parchment and books wafted over, and I could smell flowers, Lilies and Roses and Petunia, mums favourite. I could smell leather and denim and the smell of Petunia. Marly's green apple scent was there, and also a smell I hadn't smelt in a long time, and it took me a moment to recognise it as the smell of the piano back home, the one my grandparents had owned. There was also chocolate and the familiar smell of Sirius, probably the scent we had bought in London, but there was also a sweeter masculine scent, innocently lying low. I couldn't quite connect the scent to anything or anyone, instead focusing on the sweet smell of flowers.

"So? What about you? What can you smell?" Potter asked, and I lent back, most likely grinning from ear to ear.

"Books and Parchment and flowers, Lilies, roses and petunia, and Tuney herself. There was chocolate and the smell of the piano back home, and even Sirius, the scent we bought him in London. There was also leather and denim, like the smell of my jeans, and a sweet but manly scent that I can't quite place." I thought about it, it wasn't dads, he always smelt slightly lemon-y, and it wasn't Remus, who smelt of hot chocolate and marshmallows constantly.

Strange. It was quite a pleasant scent, sweet, but not sugar sweet. A mysterious woody and warm scent, with rich vanilla, like the ice cream Tuney and I had when we were kids. But there was also exotic wood, like dark ebony and floral white orchid. And it made up a deep, yet strangely sweet scent.

I didn't know who or what it belonged to.

Potter was watching me, and I ignored his inquisitive looks, instead ladling our potion into a vial.

"Lily, Potter," Slughorn came over, taking a sniff of our potion and nodding. "Very nice. Well done," and he walked off to the next pair. I grinned, even working with Potter didn't stop me from doing well in Potions, and it was a comforting thought.

"What about you?" I asked.

"What about me?" He responded, noisily gathering all the chopping boards and knives.

"What did you smell?"

He carried on scrubbing at the boards at our sink. "Quiditch; the musky scent of my broomstick, the smell of sweat and grass and also the smell that the quaffle leaves on your fingers after touching it- leather. There was fudge, sweet and mouth-watering, and I could smell my mothers scent, the comforting scent that wafts about her." He grinned to himself in a cute, non arrogant way- quite the opposite really. "There was pie and crumble and Bakewell tart, and sticky-toffee pudding and spotted dick."

"Quite a theme," I commented, and he looked over slightly at me and winked. I laughed.

"Yeah, but at least it confirmed my love for dessert."

We remained quiet whilst we cleared up, both lost in our own thoughts.

Amortenia reveals your hearts most inner desires. You smell what you love, whether you know it or not. And I had smelt Tuney.

Does that mean I did love her, even after everything?

If you had asked me three years ago, maybe even two, I would never have said otherwise. Tuney is my _sister_ , and I would have died for her.

But now?

I had grown up. I had matured. I could look past the petty name calling and jealous, bitchy comments. I could see she wasn't happy. Even when I did go home during the holidays, I could tell she hated my presence, the attention I got from our parents, family friends and neighbours.

No one knew who or _what_ I was, what I could do, other than mum, dad and her. I had never before even considered she would tell anyone. She might fear being left out or forgotten, but one thing she wasn't was malicious.

We didn't keep in contact. What I heard about her and what she gets up to is through my letters to my mother and father. I have heard about her new man, and how she is planning on moving out with him sometime soon. A quick skim between the lines implied our parents were not too happy about this, and it seemed like it wasn't Petunia who was the problem.

No, I had gotten the impression that mother and father did not really like Petunia's newest chap. But if I knew my parents, they wouldn't make a scene about it. If Tuney was happy, they were happy. They weren't going to butt into her plans and travels for the sake of a boyfriend who would probably be out the picture by the time I next hear from mum.

He was a businessman man, you see, and met Tuney at an office in London. From there, a number of dates and other various meet-ups had taken place, and Tuney had brought him home and he had had the pleasure of meeting our parents.

He didn't know I existed.

Not that it bothered me. I wasn't home enough for it to bother me. If it did bother me, that would be selfish; Petunia did not need my approval.

And from what the letters had implied, I wasn't too keen on meeting him as well.

So really, it was a win-win. Petunia could pretend I didn't exist, and I could pretend _he_ didn't.

But it was definitely Tuney I had smelt in the love potion. Which meant that even though we were the furthest apart we had ever been in our lives, she still had a place in my heart.

I do really believe everything happens for a reason, and I did consider for a great deal of time actually writing to Tuney and just check she is doing okay.

For some reason, I decided it was probably not the best thing to do, seeing as she spent all of thirty seconds to give me a quick look up and down, a glare and then stormed out of the house last time I was home.

So instead, I did the logical thing and wrote to my mother, subtly asking how Tuney was getting along with finding flats and moving out.

— _Later on—_

We were all piled atop of each other in the common room, windows thrown open to let in what little breeze there was on that sweltering summers evening.

It was hot.

Mar was fanning herself with a book, Sirius had a wet flannel strewn across his head and Remus had long gone to the Hospital Wing for some migraine potion. Alice and Em had gone off to the lake for a swim, so it was just Mar, Potter, Sirius, Peter and I.

We had approximately three and a half weeks left of our sixth year. Exam results were looming.

And so was my prefects patrol.

Yep, it was Thursday evening, and we all know very well what that means.

"Do you think Remus will be back soon?" I asked Sirius, who had rested his head on my legs, and I was very sure I had just felt a dribble of sweat drip down from his neck onto my legs.

"Lil, don't worry, he should be back soon," Sirius was in full relax mode. He would probably not move from that spot for another two hours, unless it were for food or booze.

"It's just that we should have started our prefect duties..." I spoke to myself, as Sirius had closed his eyes and quite simply zoned out.

"Patrolling?" Potter perked up from wherever he was sitting, "you can't do patrols on crutches."

"Ah, but that is where you are wrong." I quipped back, staring up at the ceiling.

"Okay, give me one logical reason why someone else should not be taking over your duties whilst you are on crutches." His voice came from my left.

"Because it's my duty, so I should do it, because I am capable of doing it," I scrunched my brows up confidently.

"Fine, let's say you go, what are you gonna do if you see, for example, some major fight in a corridor?"

"I may not be completely mobile, but I do have a wand."

"Ah, but your hands will be in your crutches. No easy access to wand, and suddenly you are wand-less in a corridor without any way of quickly escaping."

"These are very, very specific examples, Potter." I smiled, tugging at a piece of my hair and twisted it round my finger. "It's very unlikely that will actually happen."

"You never know," a shadow fell across my view of the ceiling, and a familiar head of messy hair, square glasses and that trademark smirk was in full view. "Here at Hogwarts anything is possible."

I reached up and swatted at his face to get him out of mine.

"Personal space, please." But of course, any dick like Potter took pride in trying (and succeeding) to wind you up. So instead of getting out of my personal bubble, he got closer, so close I could literally feel his breath on my cheek.

"Okay, Potter," I tried pushing him off me, but it was like pushing a solid wall; he did not budge. My arms strained against him. He was double my size and at least a head taller.

"Off now!" I wheezed, whilst he managed to basically be sitting on me and no doubt poor Sirius who was half asleep. My hands were probably leaving sweaty hand prints on the front of his shirt from trying to keep him off me. My wrists ached, and as a non athletic witch, I was not used to actually having to use my arms for anything other than turning pages of a book. "Sirius is trying to-"

But no one ever found out what Sirius was trying to do, because my aching arms finally gave up, and Potters weight fell onto me with full force, his face crashing onto mine, his arms caught somewhere around my shoulders.

"Bloody hell, Potter," I murmured, feeling my face turn an impressive shade of scarlet. I could feel the vibrations of his laughter snaking down my spine.

Potter finally came back to his senses, levering himself up from me, smirking cheekily.

"Oh stop it!" I ordered, pretending to fiddle with my hair to hide my face.

He paused, leaning up on his arms with his hands next to my ears.

"If you insist." He removed himself from my person, untangling his hands from behind my shoulders and clambering back off the sofa.

"But admit it," he raised a brow, "you enjoyed that."

And he walked off, out the portrait hole, leaving me gaping after him.

I think I sat there in my own world for about five minutes before Remus came bursting in, full of apologies and reasons why he was so late.

"It's fine, honestly Remus." I swatted away his excuses as he helped me up from the couch. Sirius' head had to be repositioned.

We headed down the usual route; starting at the top of the castle near the astronomy tower and finishing down in the dungeons.

"How did you find that potions lesson?" He asked as we peered into dark classrooms.

"It was really cool, actually," we moved on, round the corner and down a staircase, "you always hear about what people smell and you wonder..." I tailed off.

"Yeah, Emma couldn't stop raving about how she could smell-"

"-books and her pet parrot. Yes, she has been going on about it since she got out the classroom."

He grinned.

"What did you smell?" I asked, smiling as he held open a heavy door for me.

"Well, mostly desserts actually." He blushed and turned away, "there was chocolate custard and milky way." I grinned at the name of the famous muggle chocolate bar.

"Didn't expect much more," I commented lightly.

"And you? What did you smell?" He questioned in return.

"Ah, well, there was parchment and Petunia, and loads of flowery scents from home."

"Your mum is a fan?"

"So much so that she named her two only daughters after her favourite flowers. Who else names their child 'Petunia?"'

He laughed at that and agreed solemnly with me.

"Okay, fine. Petunia is a bit..."

"Unusual? Excessive? Down right daft? I agree." And we both laughed at the reality.

I peered into the next room, to find it occupied.

"Hold up," I called to Remus who was slightly ahead, "I have found life!"

He turned back and we both walked into the classroom to see two bodies smashed together, passionately going at it on the professors desk. There was a strong stench of booze.

"Oh." I covered my eyes as soon as I realised what I had just witnessed. I heard Remus curse beside me.

"Fuck." He turned around, "okay, you two, it's gone curfew. Back to your dorms, please."

There was a small 'gahhh' and a rustling of clothes, and two figures brushed past me before I opened my eyes.

"Well, we haven't had to deal with _that_ for a while..." Remus croaked, his voice breaking slightly.

"You handled that well though! Did you catch who it was?"

He shook his head, "no clue."

And maybe that was for the better.

— _A couple days later—_

I spent most of my evenings not doing much. Lying aimlessly in the common room, surrounded by the people I love the most.

The countdown had begun.

Summer was within site. The sun hardly set before 10pm. The classrooms were stuffy and the breeze was warm. We all try our best to make the most out of the few weeks of this lavish weather.

Which is why, one Tuesday evening, one would find Marly and I lying outside watching the sunset as we did some reading for Charms. We had brought with us a couple beers to keep us going, and we dipped our feet (or in my case, foot) into the cooling lake every so often.

Now, if you didn't already know, Marly was at one with gossip. Gossip was her guilty pleasure. She lived for the juicy stuff to keep her nattering, and she often liked to share it with whoever was nearest, which most of the time was me.

However this evening, what I was to hear was not good news. In fact, if I could go back, I wish I had never heard it at all.

"Merlin, Lils, have you heard about Liam yet?" I looked up from the textbook and watched her inquisitively.

"Nope?" Liam was a sore topic for me. Ever since that night... I hadn't been able to forgive myself for letting him go. I had tried, I swear, I had. I had waited with his friends at the Hufflepuff table every night to see if he would come down for dinner. He did not.

"Well, I heard from that girl who sits behind me in defence-"

"Andrea..."

"Yeah, whatever... I mean, I don't know how much of this is true, but apparently the other night he was caught being stupid with some girl up on the astronomy tower..." she lowered her voice slightly, "and he was taken to Pomfrey with the thought that he had a fever. He was sweating loads you see, eyes bloodshot..." the alarm bells went off in my head.

I sat there staring at her. I didn't know what to say.

"Mar..." I started, my heart pounding against my ribs.

She looked at me, and coloured.

"Look, maybe I shouldn't have said anything..." she trailed off, picking up her book again and beginning to read.

I got up.

"Lily, please sit back down," she calmly said, not even looking up from her book.

"Mar, I must go find out if he is okay," I picked up my crutches and headed off.

I expected her to follow me or to stop me, but she didn't. I expected her to maybe come help me, I was on crutches after all.

But she didn't.

I crutched back up to the castle, panting, arms aching and threatening to buckle at any moment.

Liam was in a bad place. He was well and truly drunk that night, stumbling about the place.

Bloodshot eyes.

It was all my fault. Me, self-obsessed me. Where was I when all this was going on? If only I had been around to listen, to help and reassure him that it would be okay.

I knew absolutely nothing about Liam. Not really. His mother left him with his father as soon as he showed magical signs. She was a muggle, you see, and was unable to accept what her baby boy was. He grew up with his father, of whom I know nothing of, knew nothing of before the news.

Rumours snake round the school quicker than snow melting on a summers day:

Liam's father joined dark magic groups, unions and communities.

Liam's father attacked muggles.

Liam's father abandoned him at the beginning of Sixth year.

Liam's father attacked witches, raped witches.

Liam is not like his father.

I pass the corner and start up the stairs towards him.

Each step is like climbing a mountain. My wand is tucked into my pocket, I focus completely on getting to the top of the staircase.

"Evans?"

My eyes snap up to the landing, where Potter stands, red in the face and looking utterly confused.

I shook my head.

No, please don't talk to me.

"You can't just ignore me," he smirked, holding a hand out to me as I reached him.

"Please, not now Potter."

He furrowed his brows. I could practically see the gears winding in his head, and I crossed my fingers he would come to his senses. I brushed past him and started off.

"Let me at least escort you to your final destination," he jogged to catch up with me, elbow to elbow.

I rolled my eyes. I just needed to get to the Hospital Wing.

"Come on, Evans?" He looked at me with his wide eyes.

"Hospital Wing."

He nodded, looking back down at my leg. I was almost there. One corner and...

The doors were shut. I knock.

"Miss Evans," Pomfrey opens the doors, eyeing me and Potter up, "is everything quite alright?"

"Is Liam in there?" Her eyes hardened on me.

 _His_ head snapped towards me, eyes glazed over.

"Miss Evans, is there an emergency?" Her tone had changed.

"Please, let me in," I begged, leaning past her to see if I could catch a glimpse. My eyes were tearing up. I really needed to see him, check if he was okay.

Something wasn't quite right.

"Miss Evans, if there is no emergency, I must get back." The door was shut and I blinked to hold back the waterworks.

"So." The boy next to me crossed his arms and stared at me, piercing through me. My heart shattered.

"I need to get in there."

"I thought this was for your leg, Evans." He stated coldly.

"Why does it matter to you?" My voice broke. This could not be happening. I swiped my arm across my eyes. "Since when did _you_ care?" It was hardly a whisper.

"You came here to see...to see Mildmoon?" A hand went to his hair, "do you even know what he is doing?"

I stopped. What was it Marly wouldn't tell me. Liam hadn't a fever.

I shook my head. No, I mustn't let Potter get in my head like that. He was just being malicious. He didn't care, why should he?

"Look, I have no clue what rumours are going around, I don't know what happened. All I know is that one of my best friends is in trouble, and I wasn't there to help him."

"Very inspirational, Evans, but please, if you don't know, you shouldn't get involved."

How fucking dare he. How. Fucking. Dare. He.

"Fuck you, Potter, fuck you! Sticking your nose into everyone else's shit. Go sort yourself out!" I screamed, the tears running down my face. "Get away from me, get away from my friends, and most of all, get away from _him_!" I pointed to the door, swiping at my tears which were now soaking through my shirt.

And you know what, I was right. I was fucking right. I was not going to drop this. He had to know his place.

"Evans, seriously, I wouldn't be saying this if I didn't know what he has been doing..."

"I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!" I screamed. He took a step back, away from me.

The bloodshot eyes.

"The other night..." I blocked my ears. I lifted my hands up and drowned out ever single word that came out that mouth of his, drowned out every worrying thought that came across my mind.

I close my eyes, and there is smoke behind my eyelids. There is a stench of booze and suddenly I am patrolling on Thursday night, and I enter a classroom with Remus. Two blonde students giggle as they brush past me on their way out.

A subtle touch of exotic wood, like dark ebony and floral white orchid, slightly woody but with rich vanilla. A hand gripping a tuft of dark hair.

I blink and I am entering a crowded room. I look around and there are bottles everywhere. People are whispering. Something is getting passed around. The music is pumping, the room vibrates with the bass. Everyone is smiling, happy. Too happy. Powder is stamped into the floor. White powder. The room is shaking, shaking, shaking.


End file.
